tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-71798804496682740012024-02-06T18:57:32.530-08:00The Year of Living HealthfullyA chronicle of my journey to health!Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.comBlogger74125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-51584705778431047262017-01-20T11:39:00.001-08:002017-01-20T11:39:19.859-08:00wheat. sigh.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9H2FHNsYMO1TYwLG-O1hC8jovcnl3iPtje9P3fzvfiw0_PVN8_tZA7BSpErLlZKiijHc0EUukx6VqpTggCql_gs9GNGqHmRDDjg6bdNZzQ6vCipIlzSj86NwcmoQ7cgixzT-T8LWeNqs/s1600/wheat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9H2FHNsYMO1TYwLG-O1hC8jovcnl3iPtje9P3fzvfiw0_PVN8_tZA7BSpErLlZKiijHc0EUukx6VqpTggCql_gs9GNGqHmRDDjg6bdNZzQ6vCipIlzSj86NwcmoQ7cgixzT-T8LWeNqs/s320/wheat.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I've been seeing an alternative healer since September (I call her my hippie nutritionist). She is awesome and has helped me find relief from some of my symptoms by using real food supplements.<br />
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However, she can only help me to a certain point. She needs me to clean up my food scene. And that means I stop eating wheat.<br />
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She's been telling me this for MONTHS yet I keep eating wheat. I love it. I crave it. It comforts me. It's easy to eat.<br />
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We were chatting yesterday and I finally said that the real thing that is keeping me from compliance is that I'm not sure I totally buy it. Is this just a fad thing? She said no way, that many of her clients don't have food sensitivities at all. But she said my body has been screaming about it since she met me.<br />
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I know that the three most inflammatory foods are wheat, sugar and dairy. I should be able to do this. But I can't seem to pull the trigger on full avoidance. I do a little here and there but I need to go all in or it really doesn't matter.<br />
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Still wrestling with this one, I have no good answers yet. For now I will turn to my trusty Google and see what research I can rustle up. I have read that gallbladder and liver issues often stem from an undiagnosed food sensitivity. Maybe it's really a thing?rachellouwsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04958167016498575389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-63502040629586674322017-01-04T14:09:00.000-08:002017-01-04T14:09:10.103-08:00relentless positivityIn 2007, I had my gallbladder removed after 4 years of escalating symptoms. I thought I would be home free once I recovered; however, what has followed has been nearly 10 years of pain, discomfort and questions.<br />
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In 2008, I had a colonoscopy to try to determine why I was still so sick. They weren't able to come up with a reason but they did find pre-cancerous polyps. If left alone, those polyps would've turned into colon cancer by now. I consider my sickness to be a blessing of sorts, because I could be dead today if they hadn't discovered the polyps. I have no family history and no reason to get that checked out. Now I have a colonoscopy every 3 years to make sure I don't get colon cancer.<br />
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In 2015, I went to the dermatologist to figure out why my hair was falling out. Again, no answers to that but that is when my highly inflammed blood was looked at and I was sent to see a liver doctor. So I guess thinning hair could be considered a blessing here because it got a doctor to actually look at what my body was saying.<br />
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If none of that had happened, I could be dead. If I don't make changes, I will be dead.<br />
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It's all terrible, yes, but it could be so much worse!!!<br />
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I choose to look at all these problems as opportunities, and I think that is what will make the difference.<br />
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Also, I'm 7 days sober and feeling good about it!<br />
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Also also, REALLY hoping that lowered blood inflammation and a happy liver will make my hair healthy again....#vanityrachellouwsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04958167016498575389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-61290010074754982292017-01-04T14:02:00.001-08:002017-01-04T14:02:24.216-08:00this made me laugh<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihr-TPc2aWK-CH-oiJ5799ti8HsAud1tj_2fc7X6e9BknEz_pG80TXUXzIQG2LBV77OIoyMfgZUqvyU1_1yQNp0YRacQmSrOd50KV81kEs4mVNJff8keUdZpnlqyarCHTVbv1c_W7n43A/s1600/20170103_200719.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihr-TPc2aWK-CH-oiJ5799ti8HsAud1tj_2fc7X6e9BknEz_pG80TXUXzIQG2LBV77OIoyMfgZUqvyU1_1yQNp0YRacQmSrOd50KV81kEs4mVNJff8keUdZpnlqyarCHTVbv1c_W7n43A/s320/20170103_200719.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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A sight rarely seen in my house--all my wine glasses clean and in the cupboard! Ha!rachellouwsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04958167016498575389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-22565601201093887632016-12-30T10:12:00.000-08:002016-12-30T10:12:48.088-08:00it's go time.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ah, it's good to be back.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So much has happened. Some of it is very bad but I'll get to that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To those that are back with me from before, welcome! To new folks, pull up a chair and join me on this journey!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here's the bad news: my liver is giving up on me. Yup. It's bad. I had a liver biopsy earlier this month and got the results today. They measure liver health on a 4 point scale. 0 is a normal, healthy liver. 4 is cirrhosis. I am at a 2, considered fibrosis. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The good news is this: the damage is, at this stage, completely reversible! However, it is going to take massive commitment and hard work for me to reverse this. I have to avoid alcohol and lose at least 10% of my body weight.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This happened because of my weight. I literally made my liver fat, along with the rest of me. Add a hefty amount of social drinking and my liver just couldn't keep up.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am going to blog about this, simply as a way to cope. I need to put words down to help myself process all of this. I went to a happy hour last night and didn't realize it would be my last drink. Tomorrow is New Year's Eve and I will be stone cold sober. It's going to be weird and hard for a while. I am also quitting Diet Coke. I have to, although the doctor didn't say I needed to. I need to stop filling my liver with toxins if I want it to heal.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As far as my food scene, I'll keep working with my nutritionist and keep trying to keep the wheat out of my life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And my Y membership will finally start to get used again!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I knew this was coming. I've known for a year that my liver wasn't happy but now it is confirmed. Can't ignore it anymore. If I keep ignoring it, liver failure and a liver transplant are in my near future. And that is just not okay.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Side note: if you are carrying around extra weight, this could happen to you. You don't want this to happen to you! Join me this year to get healthy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So for now, everything I put in my body will have to pass the liver test. "Is this going to help or hurt my liver"? Seems like a pretty good way to go.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wish me luck! This is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.</span>rachellouwsmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04958167016498575389noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-67629318671634995912015-12-09T10:21:00.001-08:002015-12-09T10:21:09.407-08:00health in a glassThis is the morning shake that has kept me alive during this AIP. It really has grown on me and I think it will stay in my life long after the AIP is over.<br />
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First step, take two big handfuls of raw spinach and put them in your glass. I use a Nutribullet, by the way. It is awesome and blends everything to perfection.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheWFhVs_lNq3z2CvTzStaRqpEfLWZ4d_YWWahbbIEyOMRCNcwewRVds_rgGgjx8HRFGV9ccbL8oFWMEGk-BT2HmRBIgHcvxpAdPZS03ow5iS_97ykmP_KArjyM2BHaRIVJFosB8Pa0Ug/s1600/20151209_114536.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheWFhVs_lNq3z2CvTzStaRqpEfLWZ4d_YWWahbbIEyOMRCNcwewRVds_rgGgjx8HRFGV9ccbL8oFWMEGk-BT2HmRBIgHcvxpAdPZS03ow5iS_97ykmP_KArjyM2BHaRIVJFosB8Pa0Ug/s320/20151209_114536.jpg" width="249" /></a></div>
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Next, pour in as many frozen blueberries as you want! Please excuse my cloudy glass, it is well used.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikjViLPU8tidT4V0Un4gmehpsfQq6fC_zn-s5gNG-yLkNRr3wP7w1euC-ceU4n3rdBepNO45xVNhXheLrovZ4UeWT-glZmn92dURBsASmy8AMr0BpOGJmo1aX1gg1o1zkLQ7XOSpzYBQ/s1600/20151209_114608_001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikjViLPU8tidT4V0Un4gmehpsfQq6fC_zn-s5gNG-yLkNRr3wP7w1euC-ceU4n3rdBepNO45xVNhXheLrovZ4UeWT-glZmn92dURBsASmy8AMr0BpOGJmo1aX1gg1o1zkLQ7XOSpzYBQ/s320/20151209_114608_001.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
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Next, put in some protein powder. Right now, I am using Vega, which is a vegan pea protein since I can't have whey (dairy product). You can use whatever flavor you want, I use vanilla.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi5_G8YjfGibwcP2NN4ijYMMeaDP5NnwXwNha6OyOwVa2PwbFByLDrf-tAvH5U7p6Ppbu91zJQKoyYS52OP1j7zp8KF03wGw23u1CyxRzCYAe0FwwKuEsB20TJpxY0MeZ1oJte6xDUmQ/s1600/20151209_114701.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi5_G8YjfGibwcP2NN4ijYMMeaDP5NnwXwNha6OyOwVa2PwbFByLDrf-tAvH5U7p6Ppbu91zJQKoyYS52OP1j7zp8KF03wGw23u1CyxRzCYAe0FwwKuEsB20TJpxY0MeZ1oJte6xDUmQ/s320/20151209_114701.jpg" width="283" /></a></div>
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Now I put in a few heaping scoops of hemp hearts and ground flaxseed. Hemp hearts don't seem to congeal the way chia seeds do. Make sure your flaxseed is ground or else it will just travel right through you without giving you any health benefits!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw0rpWtafGEsOMbzUMwpWvZlIx-g8IOBAWlyBtWEQyJfkYpRZ6KJI4DNxpRX1exqL7HZQduhHaRk_PbrHgNwmcoWPydbOIUPjj-4wxbJ9-7DFaZmahKN-SgyrFzmWxP-PzZNCI3aCQlg/s1600/20151209_114720.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw0rpWtafGEsOMbzUMwpWvZlIx-g8IOBAWlyBtWEQyJfkYpRZ6KJI4DNxpRX1exqL7HZQduhHaRk_PbrHgNwmcoWPydbOIUPjj-4wxbJ9-7DFaZmahKN-SgyrFzmWxP-PzZNCI3aCQlg/s320/20151209_114720.jpg" width="290" /></a></div>
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Now fill it up with water or any other liquid of your choice! Normally I would use almond milk but I can't have that right now.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJd2kDnIZrcQ-CPNYrIqjGEnZDSRF16ksDc9cTiI4dg4J1fPoOU7i5G834u4zF2htV2pQzBQkHhQHZlT9sS9Ko8LTu6B4KFFPRFROqXXCdZtbipnXdTql9dvAEIDxRSMc4a5WdKHOj1A/s1600/20151209_114820.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJd2kDnIZrcQ-CPNYrIqjGEnZDSRF16ksDc9cTiI4dg4J1fPoOU7i5G834u4zF2htV2pQzBQkHhQHZlT9sS9Ko8LTu6B4KFFPRFROqXXCdZtbipnXdTql9dvAEIDxRSMc4a5WdKHOj1A/s320/20151209_114820.jpg" width="184" /></a></div>
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With the Nutribullet, it blends everything down so you don't have to worry about getting weird strings of spinach in your drink. Also, because it is blended and not juiced, you don't lose any nutrients or fiber!<br />
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It ain't pretty but it is tasty! <br />
Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-78469424399101615842015-12-08T16:47:00.002-08:002015-12-08T16:47:54.564-08:00who's down with AIP? yeah, you know me!I am nearly done with my two weeks on the <a href="http://aiplifestyle.com/what-is-autoimmune-protocol-diet/" target="_blank">AIP </a>(autoimmune protocol). I'm not going to lie--it sucks. It is severely restrictive and rigid.<br />
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I posted about it on Facebook last week and apparently some people think this is a new diet plan, like Atkin's or South Beach. It is most definitely not! You wouldn't want to do this for weight loss because I don't think it is sustainable in the long run.<br />
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I took this drastic route because my body is incredibly inflamed and by taking every possible inflammatory food out of my system, the hope is that my gut will heal and the inflammation will subside.<br />
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To say that I miss bread is an understatement. I would scarf down an entire loaf right this second if I could! I've been living on my green shake (which I will post about sometime), veggies and guac, chicken and steak and berries. It makes it basically impossible to ever leave the house because you can't NOT be in control of what food is available.<br />
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This is just the first step in trying to heal the brokenness I've been living with the past 8 years. I'm far from done but it is a step forward.<br />
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I shall leave you with this:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmyNoC0I3Yyq-bOCS7bGmSg4PgW_W1cBE7LV7kjP59STytHkeYjuBthAsRyvGE2RYL-QTF0PXkcGEUfRtx_2HZpGP5ArnWO-Lr0Gn9E2IRgzY_Q3NaqcvxLM9zAVbX-t0XYgU0cX_60A/s1600/live+your+way+into+a+new+way+of+thinking.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmyNoC0I3Yyq-bOCS7bGmSg4PgW_W1cBE7LV7kjP59STytHkeYjuBthAsRyvGE2RYL-QTF0PXkcGEUfRtx_2HZpGP5ArnWO-Lr0Gn9E2IRgzY_Q3NaqcvxLM9zAVbX-t0XYgU0cX_60A/s320/live+your+way+into+a+new+way+of+thinking.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
<br />Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-77060264325461276092015-12-08T16:35:00.002-08:002015-12-08T16:35:23.199-08:00back to business!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
In retrospect, I should've named this blog The YEARS of Living Healthfully. What was I thinking, that I could overhaul my life in one year? I guess I'm just crazy like that!</div>
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Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-30286835190503426402015-05-07T19:58:00.002-07:002015-05-07T19:58:17.417-07:00living fully ever afterWhat up folks?<br />
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Been awhile.<br />
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Sorry about that. Too busy growing other things lately.<br />
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I've launched a new side to my coaching business: Living Fully Ever After.<br />
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Join me <a href="http://livingfullyeverafter.com/" target="_blank">here </a>and read my post of a <a href="http://livingfullyeverafter.com/2015/05/04/a-letter-to-my-newly-divorced-self/" target="_blank">letter to my newly divorced self</a>!Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-30434673633856612792014-11-11T19:29:00.000-08:002014-11-11T19:29:11.579-08:00the year of living slothfullyI blame my Chromecast.<br />
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It has been an adventure, exploring all the cool crap it can do.<br />
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I also blame the weather. Clouds make me sleepy.<br />
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But mostly, I blame a big, gigantic dream swirling around in my head.<br />
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My business is going through some changes--very good changes, but changes nonetheless. Changes that require thought, planning, dreaming. <br />
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When I have a lot on my mind like that, I tend to retreat. I usually beat myself up for it. <br />
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But tonight I realized something. What if the slothfulness is just part of my process?<br />
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In order to create something amazing, maybe what I need is downtime. Thought time. Processing time. Dreaming time.<br />
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Time's up. I have a meeting on Friday to prepare for. I have a dream to sketch out. I have a business to plan, a business to build.<br />
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It's gonna be awesome.<br />
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Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-1648087529960253202014-10-27T12:17:00.001-07:002014-10-28T12:17:19.529-07:00another week of nailing it<p dir=ltr>62,369 steps last week! </p>
<p dir=ltr>Wasn't sure how it would go. Spent 4 days in Wisconsin. Dancing for 6 hours on Saturday night really boosted things. :-) </p>
<p dir=ltr>I noticed this morning whilst in the shower that my heels weren't hurting. Is my plantar fasciitis getting better due to all the walking? </p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJSccEqGuqiRHfti2t9T2g_Ec5d29j43qbJDbWlwT9Wd0iQ_0VHOcAPRPE6jRQvWf0s2IZ87_d1WcSspQOcqVSoBrkv4eRZVWWTgjkYDQ5UpmUaHfb8WSMikh09v9p4DKSOgMP3sN2iw/s1600/IMG_0364.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJSccEqGuqiRHfti2t9T2g_Ec5d29j43qbJDbWlwT9Wd0iQ_0VHOcAPRPE6jRQvWf0s2IZ87_d1WcSspQOcqVSoBrkv4eRZVWWTgjkYDQ5UpmUaHfb8WSMikh09v9p4DKSOgMP3sN2iw/s640/IMG_0364.jpg"> </a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGrkwfcUHQYed653J-XTncqLfGc4k7S9PWhbNET9igKVp_adAqgKXMO-iVPgEZt_P2nCXwHjtiyLE52ZWprcXlpA9SlEvNXq_XZ0VqnxqboQpvxTnfNjGeT8evKWLdHxvRkZc_A5OWIg/s1600/IMG_20141025_085318.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGrkwfcUHQYed653J-XTncqLfGc4k7S9PWhbNET9igKVp_adAqgKXMO-iVPgEZt_P2nCXwHjtiyLE52ZWprcXlpA9SlEvNXq_XZ0VqnxqboQpvxTnfNjGeT8evKWLdHxvRkZc_A5OWIg/s640/IMG_20141025_085318.jpg"> </a> </div>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-79687871816338307892014-10-14T17:43:00.002-07:002014-10-14T17:51:04.410-07:00One day in<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Stats for Monday:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Steps: 9,267</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Water: Guzzled it</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Food: Not great. Ate out twice--lunch at Jimmy John's (was at a client, it is within walking distance); dinner at Don Pablo's (my fav place to eat alone, Mondays are usually my only evening "off" from the kids so I took advantage)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Overall, did well.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tried refrigerator oatmeal. Supposed to be eaten cold. Nope. Going to try and warm it up a little. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Finally gathered all the supplies to make the following:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">frozen chicken burritos</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">soup in a jar</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">green salad with chicken and chili lime vingegarette</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Plan is to put this stuff together tomorrow and get my kitchen in order.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now it is MEA which means kids, outdoor fun and no structure! Can I survive? Stay tuned.... :) </span>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-85425758679476463632014-10-12T18:27:00.001-07:002014-10-12T18:28:24.442-07:00michael bolton, we're gonna need you to focus up<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://jamonkey.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/b9c6a21a6ac29fd4c774d276265dee06.jpg" target="_blank">via</a></td></tr>
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Alright peeps.</div>
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Time to get focused and back to the mission.</div>
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This past year has seen me make great emotional strides and not as great physical strides.</div>
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My business is growing and (dare I say?) showing signs of great fruit.</div>
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My spiritual life is on track. Just last night I got an answer from God about something I had been pondering. Chose to listen and obey (before first disobeying and suffering the consequences)--that's a good change.</div>
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My therapist bitch slapped some sense into me this summer and I made a great leap forward in my emotional healing.</div>
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My physical self is in the worst shape it has ever been.</div>
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My habits are bad. My resolve is flimsy. My focus is scattered.</div>
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So, here is the plan for this week. Just for this week. No more sweeping, grand plans. One week of focus.</div>
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This week, I will:</div>
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1. Get 50,000 steps logged on my FitBit</div>
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2. Drink at least 8 glasses of water per day (bonus love for myself if I start the day off with tea instead of soda)</div>
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3. Eat the meals I have prepared for the week</div>
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Can I do it? Stay tuned!</div>
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(12,345 bonus points for you if you can identify the source of my subject line) </div>
<br />Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-12798688361896756482014-10-06T17:43:00.004-07:002014-10-06T17:43:42.242-07:00Pics from the annual Grand Canyon trip!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyoDCiqxumtKLDMZpZ9IhCyQ3R_BHb0-Zz8yi2-8ttMfhGiu_-qkqULsDXoqJ5HEhJfLevLvcf4phKassh-Lr0EyzDtNGhh7a8wgw5phc0hp_vczdfFs4manAhwUKLJASf__NWlfxKkA/s1600/IMG_20140928_094704.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyoDCiqxumtKLDMZpZ9IhCyQ3R_BHb0-Zz8yi2-8ttMfhGiu_-qkqULsDXoqJ5HEhJfLevLvcf4phKassh-Lr0EyzDtNGhh7a8wgw5phc0hp_vczdfFs4manAhwUKLJASf__NWlfxKkA/s640/IMG_20140928_094704.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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Selfie on the South Rim! I spent the afternoon on a ledge cheering on my group as well as strangers. :) Time well spent!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiv7bAYA1qbJ6Bks5C6ajmnerkzxVTYpk21252D0GdCXo1fWXEZrIoWSYo3uJ1cNuIu72y8f0DW43WOw0Z2cCHTNETYZajB6LE5Zu7eIo-0a7Sa2PU4svT9QSifRXAyKv2ZmvvkJY4kA/s1600/IMG_20140928_094804.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiv7bAYA1qbJ6Bks5C6ajmnerkzxVTYpk21252D0GdCXo1fWXEZrIoWSYo3uJ1cNuIu72y8f0DW43WOw0Z2cCHTNETYZajB6LE5Zu7eIo-0a7Sa2PU4svT9QSifRXAyKv2ZmvvkJY4kA/s640/IMG_20140928_094804.jpg" height="240" width="320" /> </a></div>
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My traveling companions! Gary and his daughter Sara. We desperately tried to hit a Vegas buffet but who knew the lines would be over a two hour wait?!?!? We found a nice cafe and gorged on pizza!</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihVLVrv1YyDgh4uLkX7JustOyu_yeljP6crvNbSKq1f4Pz-zzDdFBQR-wHBCOATLphD3DpRJ4MtvYi5WJnZWGvtMLF7l7-DinpEJrI_wXvQBdTFVqXTVLb84Ltv4Kex9fY9YPNqmDciw/s1600/20140926_190652.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihVLVrv1YyDgh4uLkX7JustOyu_yeljP6crvNbSKq1f4Pz-zzDdFBQR-wHBCOATLphD3DpRJ4MtvYi5WJnZWGvtMLF7l7-DinpEJrI_wXvQBdTFVqXTVLb84Ltv4Kex9fY9YPNqmDciw/s640/20140926_190652.jpg" height="240" width="320" /> </a></div>
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Jimbo (second from left) and his buddies! Love these guys.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This dude is 67 years old!!!! He is so awesome.</td></tr>
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A beautiful rainbow welcomed our hikers to the end of the hike! </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2py83B7h_qHY7aaOv-4dO3gS7hjkAH-wNaHsyX4ZW57403_IcgJq44I8zPDb6ZaX30MAOVJ6iqBjKXsu7fC628TFV3fyVE8t5GKYvJ8IpXQPyYmYzliZCH2nXohk9O97lBYEkTWwD_A/s1600/you+attract.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2py83B7h_qHY7aaOv-4dO3gS7hjkAH-wNaHsyX4ZW57403_IcgJq44I8zPDb6ZaX30MAOVJ6iqBjKXsu7fC628TFV3fyVE8t5GKYvJ8IpXQPyYmYzliZCH2nXohk9O97lBYEkTWwD_A/s1600/you+attract.png" height="213" width="320"></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Last fall, I wrote a post about attracting the wrong types of guys. You can read it <a href="http://theyearoflivinghealthfully.blogspot.com/2013/11/you-attract-what-you-put-out-there.html" target="_blank">here</a>.</span><br>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">As you know, I have quit <a href="http://theyearoflivinghealthfully.blogspot.com/2014/07/whats-haps.html" target="_blank">dating</a>. This is a good thing.</span><br>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">That doesn't mean that I don't find myself having moments of loneliness. During one such moment earlier this week, I started thinking about all that I have and how I tend to focus on the one thing I lack.</span><br>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Yes, I am single. I am not in a romantic relationship with a man. But that doesn't mean I am alone! </span><br>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I have attracted the most awesome group of friends over the past few years. I am only alone when I choose to be. And because most are all raging extroverts like me, I am very rarely alone!</span><br>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">If it is true that we attract what we put out there, I'm liking what I'm putting out there when it comes to friends. I can honestly say this is one area of life where I am nailing it. </span><br>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I feel like I have authentic, vulnerable, honest, REAL friendships with these people. They are there for me when life is fun and easy and they are there when things stink. They are willing to go along with my last minute schemes and happy to hang out and be still.</span><br>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I may not have a man in my life, but I have a network of friends that almost make that deisre disappear. Almost. :)</span>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-70133261734532574002014-08-10T17:39:00.003-07:002014-08-10T17:39:37.702-07:00See them grow!<div class="aboveUnitContent">
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Every summer since 1990, my family has spent a week at <a data-hovercard="/ajax/hovercard/page.php?id=105970986123569" href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Crow-Wing-Crest-Lodge/105970986123569" id="js_74">Crow Wing Crest Lodge</a> near Akeley, MN. <br /> <br />
When my kids were each born, they both got a CWC shirt. Each year, I
take a picture of them in that shirt next to the door of the cabin. <br /> <br /> It is<span class="text_exposed_show"> so wonderful to look at all these pictures together and see how they have grown!<br /> <br /> Also, we figure Ethan has maybe two more years in his until it becomes a belly shirt. <br /> <br />
I envision Ethan holding his up to himself when it doesn't fit anymore
and the kids handing down these shirts to their kids someday!</span></div>
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Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-78908853506813314362014-08-10T12:54:00.003-07:002014-08-10T12:54:52.928-07:00confessions of an insomniacI've always been a troubled sleeper. I get anxious about sleep, which of course leads to insomnia.<br />
<br />
My insomnia was at its worst during my senior year in college until about a month before my wedding. Perhaps that was my subconscious trying to tell me something? Anyway, it finally improved when I gave into taking an antidepressant. Nearly two years of 2-3 hours of sleep a night ended as I finally slept like a normal person. It was pure heaven.<br />
<br />
I've tried to get off the meds before--I make it three weeks then crack up. I've finally learned it just isn't worth the pain and that my brain chemistry needs a little help in order to function properly. I'm only on about a quarter of what is considered a therapeutic dose but it does the trick.<br />
<br />
However, I am also on another med that helps me quiet my mind. It isn't an actual sleeping pill, but rather an antihistamine (sort of like Benadryl but I can't take Benadryl anymore because it makes me literally start vibrating). I was put on this med when pregnant with Pibs because of course the insomnia and anxiety around sleep reared its ugly head.<br />
<br />
I've had very few sleepless nights since beginning this cocktail of meds. Truthfully, it has been delightful! However, I have been in a mild depression for about seven years now. My life started to unravel after Pibs was born and that is when it started. Then there was the divorce, which can make any person depressed.<br />
<br />
Lately I've been realizing that I sleep WAY too much (this didn't suddenly start, I just suddenly realized it is a problem). I am always tired. My first thought upon waking is wondering when I can take a nap. After talking this over with my doctor recently, I realized that it is more about too many meds rather than depression. She asked if I would cut out the sleeping meds and I told her just the mere thought of that made me start panicking inside.<br />
<br />
So I decided to cut my dose in half. That was a few weeks ago. I am still sleeping great but just at night now--far less napping in my life! I have more energy, my head feels clearer and I am getting stuff done. Is it possible that I have been suffering from medication grogginess rather than depression?<br />
<br />
Makes me wonder what is possible now! The plan is to get off the med entirely. It still freaks me out though so we'll see. Not sure I can tolerate sleepless nights as a single mama!<br />
<br />
Isn't it crazy that the solution to my energy crisis may have been in my hands this whole time?Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-70630080857486589002014-07-10T18:22:00.001-07:002014-07-10T18:22:17.281-07:00healing and dealing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Sometimes I wonder if the healing will ever come. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Sometimes I wonder if it will ever end.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Sometimes I wonder how much longer I can put up with it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Tonight I had a breakthrough. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Need to set my own heart right before I can let the healing flow.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Pray for me. </span>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-74422178948418787562014-07-07T18:38:00.000-07:002014-07-07T18:38:18.671-07:00what's the haps?<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Does anyone else feel like summer is FLYING by? It is the second week of July and I feel like we've done barely anything. Disconcerting, to say the least.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I have a good post brewing in my mind but it isn't quite ready to be released just yet. So I shall share some random bits of life with you.</span><br />
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<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Casual dating is a myth. It should instead be called placeholder dating. I am way into placeholder dating these days. Basically, it means you could never envision love or a future with a person but you hang out with them anyway, until something better comes along. So.....yeah. Once I realized that this is actually what I meant by "casually dating", it became clear to me that I must stop. I don't want to be someone's placeholder and I'm certain they don't want to be mine. My therapist backed all this up as well. :) Dating is finished for me. If God wants me to have a partner, He better throw him in my path because I'm done looking for him.</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> </span><ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">My girl Courtney is moving into the house next door! Watch out neighborhood! I adore Courtney and her family. She is the perfect kind of friend to have close by. She is also the owner of a cooking business that uses my kitchen for classes. It will be so convenient to just have to bring things next door! And if we forget her fancy honey, she just has to run next door to grab it. Also, her kids are outside ALL THE TIME so I'm hoping it rubs off on my kids!</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> </span><ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I currently hold three jobs. I am a coach at <a href="http://rachelolsoncoaching.com/" target="_blank">Rachel Olson Coaching</a>, a sous chef at <a href="http://www.cookitwithcourtney.com/" target="_blank">Cook It With Courtney</a>, and now a book distributor! My dad and his business partner wrote an <a href="http://www.jmarkpartners.com/" target="_blank">awesome book</a> on transformational leadership! They decided to forgo the standard publishing route and hired me to be their distributor. I have about 2,000 books stacked in my garage and ship them out whenever orders come in. However, despite all these fun jobs, I am thinking about finding some part time temp work in the fall. The recent bigger-than-expected drop in alimony and child support has stretched my budget to the max. My business is growing but I can't count on it to support me fully just yet (but I will!!!!). So for now my plan is to find some very temporary part time work. That will still give me time to work on my business. Of course, if I get another corporate gig like the one I signed last month I won't need to do it. </span></li>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> </span><ul>
<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"> As you recall from a few weeks ago, financial stresses have been weighing on my heavily. I am taking care of three people on less than what I made working before kids. I got rid of my credit card and am on a cash budget now but there is about $10 left at the end of the month. But when God provides, He provides! Last week I got notice that I will be getting a property tax refund which will help a lot. Then I was at a Mastermind meeting and found out that one of the women has a great contact at ProStaff, which will help me with that temp work I need. It was all a huge relief.</span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Today I began my Grand Canyon Hike training. I've hiked the canyon 3 times but never really trained for it. I've set a goal for myself as far as training goes. If I fail to meet that goal, I can't hike. I refuse to limp along in misery again this time. If I do it, I want to do it WELL. I will still go on the trip (already bought my ticket) because it has become my fall tradition and I love sharing the trip with my dad. I think this year will be my seventh trip! If you are interested in the hike, check out these two blogs, written by people we hike with each year:</span></li>
</ul>
<a href="http://gcorbust.blogspot.com/"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">http://gcorbust.blogspot.com/</span></a><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"><a href="http://canyonhike.wordpress.com/gear-and-grit-notes-on-being-ready-for-a-great-day/">http://canyonhike.wordpress.com/gear-and-grit-notes-on-being-ready-for-a-great-day/</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">That's all for tonight! </span>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-37380765746021908662014-06-25T19:02:00.001-07:002014-06-25T19:02:10.910-07:00it's good to have friends<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Yesterday was not the best day. I learned a hard lesson about listening to my gut.<br />
<br />
Late last night, Courtney and I were texting and she asked if I needed her to come over. I of course said no, because I am not one to burden anyone (other than my mom and sister!) with my stupid problems.<br />
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She texted me back that she was coming over anyway. :)<br />
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I found myself with a huge smile on my face and feeling very loved. She came over, we ate Oreos and watched Pitch Perfect. It was a delightful evening!<br />
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I realized that I say no to love way too often. I don't want to be a burden, or be any trouble. But even though I said no last night, Courtney realized what I needed and came over anyway. That is the definition of friendship.<br />
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I'd like to learn to be more open to letting people love on me and love on my kids. I was on an island for so many years where the only way to survive was to keep people out. I'm not on that island anymore. I have nothing to hide anymore.<br />
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The island is open. Come on by for a visit. :) <br />
<br />
<br />Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-2882070471388705642014-06-06T08:48:00.000-07:002014-06-06T08:48:08.433-07:00Ethan had a breakthrough!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Something excited happened here last night and I need to capture it here.<br />
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Some of you know that the divorce was pretty tough on Ethan. He was very sad and got to a point where he was hurting himself at times. Eventually he was diagnosed with situational depression and we found a good therapist that really helped him.<br />
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But with kids, the progress is slow and you don't always see the fruit of your labor when you want.<br />
<br />
One of the things we worked on in therapy was Truth Talk vs. Stinkin' Thinkin'. Stinkin' Thinkin' are the lies you have in your head. For example, I'm so stupid, I'm unlovable, I'm the worst boy ever. Truth Talk is what you say to combat those lies. For example, I made a mistake that I can learn from. I may not have all the answers but I can handle it. I was created for a special purpose and am meant to be here. You get the general idea.<br />
<br />
It was an exhausting nightly exercise for many, many months with Ethan. We would sit together on his bed, he would be down on himself, I would encourage Truth Talk. Very difficult to see what I feel is a truly amazing boy be so down on himself.<br />
<br />
So flash forward to last night. After I tucked the kids in, Ethan came back down to tell me he had a chat room fight with a friend. He was just explaining to me what had happened and that they worked it out but I was only hearing "cyber bully!!!" in my mind. I told him very firmly that he was not to ever say mean things to a friend online ever again or I would take tech away from him for a very long time. I didn't even really hear what he was actually telling me, which became clear later.<br />
<br />
When I went up to bed, there was a long note for me at the top of the stairs. He explained that he made a mistake, that he felt bad about it but that he was glad he apologized. Then he said "I'm a very tired boy, I need to sleep now".<br />
<br />
I immediately wrote him a note to see in the morning about how I could've handled that better and praised him for apologizing to his friend and for handling the situation.<br />
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Then I creeped into his room just to see if he was still awake and sure enough, he was. We hugged it out and I gave him my note. He told me that he was going to write "I'm a stupid, terrible boy" but then he stopped and realized he was just really tired and that those things weren't true about him.<br />
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THIS IS HUGE. I've gotten many notes from him that tell me how horrible he is, how stupid he is, how he is the worst kid ever. Honestly, when I first saw that he had written something last night, I sighed and thought "Here we go again.". My instinct when I get those bad notes is to hug him, tell him how amazing he is and let it go. But that doesn't really get to the heart of the matter--what he believes about himself. He is the only one who can Truth Talk himself. I simply need to put the right tools in his path. I am so proud of him for doing it all on his own this time! <br />
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Ethan just made a huge step forward in his emotional health. I want to celebrate him and encourage him to keep moving forward in the right direction!Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-80566195484729282502014-06-01T15:22:00.000-07:002014-06-01T15:22:06.449-07:00the ugly cry<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Well, it had to come out sometime.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Ever since the financial bomb went off last Tuesday, my soul has been trying to get its ugly cry on. Hasn't happened. The best I was able to do was to get a cracking headache and walk around with heavy shoulders.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">But today, it found a way out! Of course, it was at church. And of course, I was in the front row since I had to be on stage at various times. Thankfully, the ugly cry waited until my speaking parts were done. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">I love worship music. It's how I chill with God. It centers my head in a way that reading the Bible or being in prayer can't. So our awesome music leader started singing The Desert Song by Hillsong. The lyrics just smacked me in the face and the ugly cry began. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">After a minute of trying to wipe at my eyes and not completely lose it, I felt a tap on my shoulder and saw a pack of tissues. Darling Katie, a few rows back, passed them up. Then Shelcy came and sat right next to me and wrapped me up, while I dripped tears (but not snot, I promise Shelcy!) on her arms. Somehow feeling love from these friends made me cry harder so I just let it go. It actually felt really good to get it out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Unfortunately it isn't done. I've been breaking into tears on and off all afternoon. Ethan is circling me like a hawk and keeps finding me to check in. He's calling himself The Security Guard. He is such a sweet and precious boy--he just wants his mom to be okay. I struggle with showing this side of my emotional life to my kids. I don't want him to be worried about the things I'm worried about, but I also need him to understand that life isn't always perfect. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">This level of being down doesn't happen to me often. I've been worrying over things, been frustrated over things, been complaining about things. The reason I finally broke down is because I realized something very simple. I am trying to handle adversity on my own. I wasn't taking it to Jesus. It's so simple, yet somehow I continually forget. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Below are the lyrics to this song. Not sure if Hillsong wrote it but that's the version I downloaded when I got home. Every line of this song is speaking to me right now. But the one I am choosing to focus on (or planning to when I can stop crying) is this: <b>So refine me, Lord, through the flame. </b>The Lord has been refining me since the minute I found out I was getting divorced. My continuing question has always been "Lord, what am I supposed to learn? What parts of me need to be refined?". When you ask God questions like this, He will make it painfully clear what He's trying to do. :)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><b>"Desert Song"</b></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>[Verse 1:]</i><br />
This is my prayer in the desert<br />
When all that's within me feels dry<br />
This is my prayer in my hunger and need<br />
My God is the God who provides</span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>[Verse 2:]</i><br />
And this is my prayer in the fire<br />
In weakness or trial or pain<br />
There is a faith proved<br />
Of more worth than gold<br />
So refine me, Lord, through the flame</span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>[Chorus:]</i><br />
And I will bring praise<br />
I will bring praise<br />
No weapon formed against me shall remain<br />
I will rejoice<br />
I will declare<br />
God is my victory and He is here</span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>[Verse 3:]</i><br />
And this is my prayer in the battle<br />
When triumph is still on its way<br />
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ<br />
So firm on His promise I'll stand</span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>[Bridge 4x:]</i><br />
All of my life<br />
In every season<br />
You are still God<br />
I have a reason to sing<br />
I have a reason to worship</span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"><i>[Verse 4:]</i><br />
This is my prayer in the harvest<br />
When favor and providence flow<br />
I know I'm filled to be emptied again<br />
The seed I've received I will sow
</span>Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-86817981475496619012014-05-29T19:50:00.002-07:002014-05-29T19:51:32.869-07:00it's getting betterThank you for all the calls, texts and emails. I am still kicking. It was a bad day. But it's getting better.<br />
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First off, the job came through. The terms have changed a bit but it is still a great gig and a huge step forward for my business. With it came some great learning about how to put this offer forward to other organizations in the future.<br />
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Second, I have a plan for the financial side of things. I'm not going into detail about it yet (or maybe ever) but it is going to be very painful and difficult for me. I think some pain and difficulty is exactly what I need to finally learn how to manage money.<br />
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I've been trying to get better about remembering that a feeling is just a snapshot in time, and that it isn't necessarily permanent. That is hard for a person like me who sees the world through feelings. But I'm slowly learning how to be less of a slave to my feelings and to be more of an observer.<br />
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When I am getting beat down over and over, it is very difficult to maintain any sort of coolness. My head has been spinning for the past two days and that is usually not a very good thing.<br />
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However, from all that spinning has come ideas and solutions. New ways of looking at a situation. I'm not completely out of the spin cycle yet but I'm getting there. And now I am formulating a plan.<br />
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I'm going to be okay.<br />
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<br />Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-84932768259722238662014-05-29T09:19:00.001-07:002014-05-29T09:19:19.409-07:00it just keeps getting better (heavy sarcasm)<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="On a bad day..." class="pinImage" height="320" src="http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/8c/6b/95/8c6b95911070e29cd9c718c07a8d52e7.jpg" style="margin: 0px auto; padding: 40px 0px;" width="227" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/originals/8c/6b/95/8c6b95911070e29cd9c718c07a8d52e7.jpg" target="_blank">source</a></td></tr>
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The past 48 hours have bitch slapped me hard.<br />
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First the ex informs me that due to an error in his payments to me, I now owe him a ton of money that I do not have. I am barely surviving on what he pays me; I definitely don't have extra cash lying around. Supporting myself and two kids on less that half of what it used to be isn't working. However, due to our divorce settlement, if I go to work and need to put the kids in daycare I need to pay for it all myself. Kind of negates the money I would make working.<br />
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And now summer is upon us. Which means kids 24/7. Which means when I do work, I need to scramble to find childcare.<br />
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Then I found out that a big contract I was about to sign is up in the air. It was going to alleviate some of the financial pressure.<br />
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Then to top it all today, Ethan started throwing up.<br />
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Feeling pretty down. I know this is just a moment in time--it doesn't mean things are really this bad. But man, it feels like crap.<br />
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I created a <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/chulie18/bad-day/" target="_blank">Pinterest </a>board to wallow in for a while. Join me if you too are having a bad day or three.Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-5458452152675890732014-05-01T14:02:00.001-07:002014-05-01T15:11:58.347-07:00two years<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Two years ago today I signed my divorce papers. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">When I sat down to write this, I was sure it had been three years. Kept looking at the dates and realized that sure enough, it's only been two years! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Many of you have been with me since the beginning of this journey. You've stuck with me through great times and awful times. Your love and support has carried me though. I would like to take this opportunity to share with you all I have accomplished (with your help!) and the valuable lessons I have learned in the past two years.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">In the past two years, I've:</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-learned that taking the trash out is NO BIG DEAL. Seriously.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-learned how to operate the beast of a snow blower my ex bought right before he left. It is heavy and hard to use but dang, it clears snow amazingly well!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-learned how to mow my lawn. Although thankfully Jimbo has become my lawn man and does it for me <strike>most</strike> all of the time. :) (Love you Dad!)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-handled a basement flood, not once but twice and repaired the damage without spending a penny (many thanks to the handy people that came to help me out! A special thanks to my brother who watched YouTube videos to learn how to stretch carpet!) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">-learned that using my network is the key to surviving single motherhood and home ownership!</span> </div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-helped my friend start a cooking business in which she is able to use my awesome kitchen and I get free cooking lessons while she leads classes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-refinanced my house so now I can say it is MY HOUSE!!!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-paid off my minivan.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-completed my coaching program (with an A average!).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-launched </span><a href="http://rachelolsoncoaching.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Rachel Olson Coaching</span></a><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-made boatloads of new friends.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-gone on many dates, some good. Many not good.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-stayed single--by choice.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-learned how to parent--finally.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">-learned how to set boundaries and priorities that work for me and my kids. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-fallen in love with my kids.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-been to the Grand Canyon twice and camped with my dad</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-taken my kids to Disney twice. Each time just gets better!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-done lots of little things around my house to make it feel comfortable to me. Like painting my front door a zingy shade of yellow! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">-gotten rid of at least half my clothing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">-gotten to a good place with my ex where we can cooperate in the business of raising our kids.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">-learned how to cover my gray hair on my own for $2 thus only having to get it done at the salon twice a year.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">-worked (am am still working) with a financial planner to set and stick to a budget</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"></span><br />
<b><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">Valuable lessons I've learned:</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-Infidelity is awful. Divorce first, date later. Seriously. That has been BY FAR the hardest part for me to heal from. When my kids talk about her, it's like a tiny knife stabbing me in the heart. However, the knife is getting smaller and smaller. Eventually I know it will stop hurting.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-I am surviving and thriving. Never believed it would happen. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-No amount of determination can speed up the healing process.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-Distractions (dating, drinking, eating, dancing, sleeping, etc.) might make it FEEL like you've healed but the pain will always be there until you deal with it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-Nothing helps healing like a really great therapist!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">-My kids were not ruined. It was dark for a while but we have emerged better and stronger. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">-I love to reflect on my self growth and development. Probably why I was a psych major. Definitely why I love being a coach!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">-I have a sparkle that people are attracted to. It's magnetic. I'm coming back to life.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">-I LOVE to have people in my house! Parties make my world go round. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">-I actually do have a head for business. I've surprised even myself. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">-I LOVE working for myself. I'm the best boss ever. EVER. :)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">-The busier I am, the more productive I am.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">-Single parenting works well for me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">-I love the team mentality I have with my kids right now. I'm still in charge but they want to do their best for the family. I love that. </span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">What's yet to come?</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">-a road trip with my kids. Plan is for Fall 2015, Washington DC. Would also love to take a trip out west with them. Since I don't have a spouse to join me, Jimbo is coming! He and I are similar in our love of road trips so it works out well. Plus he is a pro camper and takes care of those details.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">-lots of fun stuff planned for the summer. Trying to juggle growing a business and growing kids is tricky but so far it's working! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">-a business that is going gangbusters. I have SO MANY ideas. And they are so good. I need to put them into action.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">-my first ski trip since 2005 to Whitefish, Montana</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">-I hope to have a solid relationship again, possibly even a marriage (waaay in the future. I still have a lot of learning and growing to do). Although I am currently ambivalent about it, I know that deep down I want to find love and commitment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I really can't believe it has only been two years. It astonishes me. I never believed things would turn around so quickly. When you are in the midst of a life upheaval, it feels like it will never end. I am so happy to be where I am today. Do I wish it could've come with less pain? Of course. But what is important is that I'm here. I've been blessed with smart people around me that encouraged me to make smart choices when I was at my worst. I have a giant circle of friends and family that are there at a moment's notice. I have a promise written down thousands of years ago in the Bible that assures me there is a plan for my life and for my kids. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">It's good stuff. </span>
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Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7179880449668274001.post-65423024864538916802014-04-28T14:48:00.001-07:002014-04-28T14:48:46.434-07:00Why I changed my mind<p dir=ltr>Back in November, I decreed that I would not date for at least a year. </p>
<p dir=ltr>Yeah, about that..... </p>
<p dir=ltr>I've had it. I am rescinding my decree. I no longer need the black and whiteness of that decision. </p>
<p dir=ltr>It's spring (sort of) and warmer weather makes me want to get out in the world, go on dates, have adventures. Plus, it's fun to go to nice restaurants and not have to pay for it. :-) </p>
<p dir=ltr>My decision not to date was a freedom based decision. But it was also a reaction to an emotional hurt and being alone was preferable to being hurt. </p>
<p dir=ltr>I've grown a lot in six months. Much more than I realized, actually. I've gotten so strong in who I am and what I am worth. At times a little too strong, perhaps. But I'm in a much different place today than six months ago. </p>
<p dir=ltr>So I'm going to put myself out there. I went to a singles party with church last Saturday. I'm on an online dating site (although I am passively on-I don't make first contact anymore). I have a date on Saturday night with a guy who makes me laugh so hard that I am still laughing about something he said yesterday. Will he be a fit? Probably not but at least I will make a new friend and have fun doing it.</p>
<p dir=ltr>My expectations for dating could not be lower-that is actually a good thing. I am approaching it as entertainment and not much more these days. </p>
<p dir=ltr>I am a different Rachel than the one who swore off dating. Hopefully this doesn't make you disappointed in me. Instead I hope you feel excited that I've gotten to a place where I can date and not get too wrapped up in it. </p>
Rachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16225217522711349561noreply@blogger.com0