wheat. sigh.

I've been seeing an alternative healer since September (I call her my hippie nutritionist). She is awesome and has helped me find relief from some of my symptoms by using real food supplements.

However, she can only help me to a certain point. She needs me to clean up my food scene. And that means I stop eating wheat.

She's been telling me this for MONTHS yet I keep eating wheat. I love it. I crave it. It comforts me. It's easy to eat.

We were chatting yesterday and I finally said that the real thing that is keeping me from compliance is that I'm not sure I totally buy it. Is this just a fad thing? She said no way, that many of her clients don't have food sensitivities at all. But she said my body has been screaming about it since she met me.

I know that the three most inflammatory foods are wheat, sugar and dairy. I should be able to do this. But I can't seem to pull the trigger on full avoidance. I do a little here and there but I need to go all in or it really doesn't matter.

Still wrestling with this one, I have no good answers yet. For now I will turn to my trusty Google and see what research I can rustle up. I have read that gallbladder and liver issues often stem from an undiagnosed food sensitivity. Maybe it's really a thing?

relentless positivity

In 2007, I had my gallbladder removed after 4 years of escalating symptoms. I thought I would be home free once I recovered; however, what has followed has been nearly 10 years of pain, discomfort and questions.

In 2008, I had a colonoscopy to try to determine why I was still so sick. They weren't able to come up with a reason but they did find pre-cancerous polyps. If left alone, those polyps would've turned into colon cancer by now. I consider my sickness to be a blessing of sorts, because I could be dead today if they hadn't discovered the polyps. I have no family history and no reason to get that checked out. Now I have a colonoscopy every 3 years to make sure I don't get colon cancer.

In 2015, I went to the dermatologist to figure out why my hair was falling out. Again, no answers to that but that is when my highly inflammed blood was looked at and I was sent to see a liver doctor. So I guess thinning hair could be considered a blessing here because it got a doctor to actually look at what my body was saying.

If none of that had happened, I could be dead. If I don't make changes, I will be dead.

It's all terrible, yes, but it could be so much worse!!!

I choose to look at all these problems as opportunities, and I think that is what will make the difference.

Also, I'm 7 days sober and feeling good about it!

Also also, REALLY hoping that lowered blood inflammation and a happy liver will make my hair healthy again....#vanity

this made me laugh

A sight rarely seen in my house--all my wine glasses clean and in the cupboard! Ha!

it's go time.

Ah, it's good to be back.

So much has happened. Some of it is very bad but I'll get to that.

To those that are back with me from before, welcome! To new folks, pull up a chair and join me on this journey!

Here's the bad news: my liver is giving up on me. Yup. It's bad. I had a liver biopsy earlier this month and got the results today. They measure liver health on a 4 point scale. 0 is a normal, healthy liver. 4 is cirrhosis. I am at a 2, considered fibrosis. 

The good news is this: the damage is, at this stage, completely reversible! However, it is going to take massive commitment and hard work for me to reverse this. I have to avoid alcohol and lose at least 10% of my body weight.

This happened because of my weight. I literally made my liver fat, along with the rest of me. Add a hefty amount of social drinking and my liver just couldn't keep up.

I am going to blog about this, simply as a way to cope. I need to put words down to help myself process all of this. I went to a happy hour last night and didn't realize it would be my last drink. Tomorrow is New Year's Eve and I will be stone cold sober. It's going to be weird and hard for a while. I am also quitting Diet Coke. I have to, although the doctor didn't say I needed to. I need to stop filling my liver with toxins if I want it to heal.

As far as my food scene, I'll keep working with my nutritionist and keep trying to keep the wheat out of my life. 

And my Y membership will finally start to get used again!

I knew this was coming. I've known for a year that my liver wasn't happy but now it is confirmed. Can't ignore it anymore. If I keep ignoring it, liver failure and a liver transplant are in my near future. And that is just not okay.

Side note: if you are carrying around extra weight, this could happen to you. You don't want this to happen to you! Join me this year to get healthy.

So for now, everything I put in my body will have to pass the liver test. "Is this going to help or hurt my liver"? Seems like a pretty good way to go.

Wish me luck! This is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

health in a glass

This is the morning shake that has kept me alive during this AIP. It really has grown on me and I think it will stay in my life long after the AIP is over.

First step, take two big handfuls of raw spinach and put them in your glass. I use a Nutribullet, by the way. It is awesome and blends everything to perfection.

Next, pour in as many frozen blueberries as you want! Please excuse my cloudy glass, it is well used.

Next, put in some protein powder. Right now, I am using Vega, which is a vegan pea protein since I can't have whey (dairy product). You can use whatever flavor you want, I use vanilla.

Now I put in a few heaping scoops of hemp hearts and ground flaxseed. Hemp hearts don't seem to congeal the way chia seeds do. Make sure your flaxseed is ground or else it will just travel right through you without giving you any health benefits!

Now fill it up with water or any other liquid of your choice! Normally I would use almond milk but I can't have that right now.

With the Nutribullet, it blends everything down so you don't have to worry about getting weird strings of spinach in your drink. Also, because it is blended and not juiced, you don't lose any nutrients or fiber!

It ain't pretty but it is tasty!

who's down with AIP? yeah, you know me!

I am nearly done with my two weeks on the AIP (autoimmune protocol). I'm not going to lie--it sucks. It is severely restrictive and rigid.

I posted about it on Facebook last week and apparently some people think this is a new diet plan, like Atkin's or South Beach. It is most definitely not! You wouldn't want to do this for weight loss because I don't think it is sustainable in the long run.

I took this drastic route because my body is incredibly inflamed and by taking every possible inflammatory food out of my system, the hope is that my gut will heal and the inflammation will subside.

To say that I miss bread is an understatement. I would scarf down an entire loaf right this second if I could! I've been living on my green shake (which I will post about sometime), veggies and guac, chicken and steak and berries. It makes it basically impossible to ever leave the house because you can't NOT be in control of what food is available.

This is just the first step in trying to heal the brokenness I've been living with the past 8 years. I'm far from done but it is a step forward.

I shall leave you with this:

back to business!

In retrospect, I should've named this blog The YEARS of Living Healthfully. What was I thinking, that I could overhaul my life in one year? I guess I'm just crazy like that!