Ethan had a breakthrough!

Something excited happened here last night and I need to capture it here.

Some of you know that the divorce was pretty tough on Ethan. He was very sad and got to a point where he was hurting himself at times. Eventually he was diagnosed with situational depression and we found a good therapist that really helped him.

But with kids, the progress is slow and you don't always see the fruit of your labor when you want.

One of the things we worked on in therapy was Truth Talk vs. Stinkin' Thinkin'. Stinkin' Thinkin' are the lies you have in your head. For example, I'm so stupid, I'm unlovable, I'm the worst boy ever. Truth Talk is what you say to combat those lies. For example, I made a mistake that I can learn from. I may not have all the answers but I can handle it. I was created for a special purpose and am meant to be here.  You get the general idea.

It was an exhausting nightly exercise for many, many months with Ethan. We would sit together on his bed, he would be down on himself, I would encourage Truth Talk. Very difficult to see what I feel is a truly amazing boy be so down on himself.

So flash forward to last night. After I tucked the kids in, Ethan came back down to tell me he had a chat room fight with a friend. He was just explaining to me what had happened and that they worked it out but I was only hearing "cyber bully!!!" in my mind. I told him very firmly that he was not to ever say mean things to a friend online ever again or I would take tech away from him for a very long time. I didn't even really hear what he was actually telling me, which became clear later.

When I went up to bed, there was a long note for me at the top of the stairs. He explained that he made a mistake, that he felt bad about it but that he was glad he apologized. Then he said "I'm a very tired boy, I need to sleep now".

I immediately wrote him a note to see in the morning about how I could've handled that better and praised him for apologizing to his friend and for handling the situation.

Then I creeped into his room just to see if he was still awake and sure enough, he was. We hugged it out and I gave him my note. He told me that he was going to write "I'm a stupid, terrible boy" but then he stopped and realized he was just really tired and that those things weren't true about him.

THIS IS HUGE. I've gotten many notes from him that tell me how horrible he is, how stupid he is, how he is the worst kid ever. Honestly, when I first saw that he had written something last night, I sighed and thought "Here we go again.". My instinct when I get those bad notes is to hug him, tell him how amazing he is and let it go. But that doesn't really get to the heart of the matter--what he believes about himself. He is the only one who can Truth Talk himself. I simply need to put the right tools in his path. I am so proud of him for doing it all on his own this time!

Ethan just made a huge step forward in his emotional health. I want to celebrate him and encourage him to keep moving forward in the right direction!

back from vacation!

I'm back from Disney!

It was a fantastic trip, of course! Although nothing about a Disney trip is relaxing--I always come home totally wiped out.
 
I wore my FitBit the whole time and logged 62 miles for the 8 day trip.  The park days were 25k, 21k, and 23k.  That's over two days worth of steps each time!  No surprise that my feet really hurt by the end of the day.

I ended up getting an ear infection on our second day down there.  Thankfully it was a rainy day so laying in bed all day on a heating pad wasn't a huge waste of time.  Unfortunately, it still hasn't healed and I am now on a second round of antibiotics. I need to be nicer to my kids when they have ear infections--this is awful! Yesterday was the worst day--everything above my shoulders was in pain.  I think the hearing in my infected ear is down to 30%. But it can't get a whole lot worse so I am looking forward to healing!

I had some pop in Disney--something about sunshine, swimming and soda just goes so well together!  I started the week out very strong by making good food choices. By the end of the week, I was having pizza every day!  Believe it or not, I actually lost a pound on the trip.  That has NEVER happened!  Must've been all the walking.

I have been pretty wiped since we got home.  I finally got off my heating pad this afternoon and picked the house up some, went through my emails, and am now writing this.

I feel like I've lost a little focus on my year. I've nailed a few of my goals, which I need to write a post on. But my weight and fitness goals are still hanging out there, unfinished.

I made the decision to quit Lifetime and join Anytime. On Monday I will go and officially sign up. I plan to go daily--Pibs loves it and worked out with my last time.  She watched Doc McStuffins on the treadmill next to me and walked for 30 minutes!  It needs to become a regular part of my morning. I also think it will help me this summer with managing all the free time we have as a family without school to give us structure. They also have a Zumba class on Monday nights that I am excited to check out!  Unfortunately, I have coaching sessions scheduled for the next few Monday nights. But I will get there!

Here are a few fun pics from our trip!

 Party rocking at the Magic Kingdom! It was open until 1 AM, we made it until midnight.

 Doesn't Ethan look so handsome in this picture? The kids rode Star Tours four times in a row.

 Each kid bought a light up toy from the cart at the Magic Kingdom! Much whacking of strangers legs ensued.

 Hanging out with the characters from our favorite show!

 Aren't they breathtaking?

Because we go to Disney so often, they upgraded us to Royal Rooms! The headboard had lights built in and Pibs went crazy for the princess decor. When we walked into our room, she went right to all those framed pictures on the wall and announced she was sleeping right by them!