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Monday, April 28, 2014

Why I changed my mind

Back in November,  I decreed that I would not date for at least a year.

Yeah,  about that.....

I've had it.  I am rescinding my decree.  I no longer need the black and whiteness of that decision.

It's spring (sort of)  and warmer weather makes me want to get out in the world,  go on dates,  have adventures. Plus,  it's fun to go to nice restaurants and not have to pay for it. :-)

My decision not to date was a freedom based decision.  But it was also a reaction to an emotional hurt and being alone was preferable to being hurt. 

I've grown a lot in six months.  Much more than I realized,  actually.  I've gotten so strong in who I am and what I am worth.  At times a little too strong,  perhaps.  But I'm in a much different place today than six months ago.

So I'm going to put myself out there.  I went to a singles party with church last Saturday.  I'm on an online dating site (although I am passively on-I don't make first contact anymore).  I have a date on Saturday night with a guy who makes me laugh so hard that I am still laughing about something he said yesterday.  Will he be a fit? Probably not but at least I will make a new friend and have fun doing it.

My expectations for dating could not be lower-that is actually a good thing. I am approaching it as entertainment and not much more these days.

I am a different Rachel than the one who swore off dating.  Hopefully this doesn't make you disappointed in me.  Instead I hope you feel excited that I've gotten to a place where I can date and not get too wrapped up in it.

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