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Tuesday, October 14, 2014

One day in

Stats for Monday:

Steps: 9,267
Water: Guzzled it
Food: Not great. Ate out twice--lunch at Jimmy John's (was at a client, it is within walking distance); dinner at Don Pablo's (my fav place to eat alone, Mondays are usually my only evening "off" from the kids so I took advantage)

Overall, did well.

Tried refrigerator oatmeal. Supposed to be eaten cold. Nope. Going to try and warm it up a little. 

Finally gathered all the supplies to make the following:

frozen chicken burritos
soup in a jar
green salad with chicken and chili lime vingegarette

Plan is to put this stuff together tomorrow and get my kitchen in order.

Now it is MEA which means kids, outdoor fun and no structure! Can I survive? Stay tuned.... :)

Sunday, October 12, 2014

michael bolton, we're gonna need you to focus up

Alright peeps.

Time to get focused and back to the mission.

This past year has seen me make great emotional strides and not as great physical strides.

My business is growing and (dare I say?) showing signs of great fruit.

My spiritual life is on track. Just last night I got an answer from God about something I had been pondering. Chose to listen and obey (before first disobeying and suffering the consequences)--that's a good change.

My therapist bitch slapped some sense into me this summer and I made a great leap forward in my emotional healing.

My physical self is in the worst shape it has ever been.

My habits are bad. My resolve is flimsy. My focus is scattered.

So, here is the plan for this week. Just for this week. No more sweeping, grand plans. One week of focus.

This week, I will:
1. Get 50,000 steps logged on my FitBit
2. Drink at least 8 glasses of water per day (bonus love for myself if I start the day off with tea instead of soda)
3. Eat the meals I have prepared for the week

Can I do it? Stay tuned!

(12,345 bonus points for you if you can identify the source of my subject line)

Monday, October 6, 2014

Pics from the annual Grand Canyon trip!

Selfie on the South Rim! I spent the afternoon on a ledge cheering on my group as well as strangers. :) Time well spent!
My traveling companions! Gary and his daughter Sara. We desperately tried to hit a Vegas buffet but who knew the lines would be over a two hour wait?!?!? We found a nice cafe and gorged on pizza!
Jimbo (second from left) and his buddies! Love these guys.
This dude is 67 years old!!!! He is so awesome.
 A beautiful rainbow welcomed our hikers to the end of the hike!

Thursday, September 4, 2014

You attract what you put out there, part two

Last fall, I wrote a post about attracting the wrong types of guys. You can read it here.

As you know, I have quit dating. This is a good thing.

That doesn't mean that I don't find myself having moments of loneliness. During one such moment earlier this week, I started thinking about all that I have and how I tend to focus on the one thing I lack.

Yes, I am single. I am not in a romantic relationship with a man. But that doesn't mean I am alone!

I have attracted the most awesome group of friends over the past few years. I am only alone when I choose to be. And because most are all raging extroverts like me, I am very rarely alone!

If it is true that we attract what we put out there, I'm liking what I'm putting out there when it comes to friends. I can honestly say this is one area of life where I am nailing it.

I feel like I have authentic, vulnerable, honest, REAL friendships with these people. They are there for me when life is fun and easy and they are there when things stink. They are willing to go along with my last minute schemes and happy to hang out and be still.

I may not have a man in my life, but I have a network of friends that almost make that deisre disappear. Almost. :)

Sunday, August 10, 2014

See them grow!

Every summer since 1990, my family has spent a week at Crow Wing Crest Lodge near Akeley, MN.

When my kids were each born, they both got a CWC shirt. Each year, I take a picture of them in that shirt next to the door of the cabin.

It is so wonderful to look at all these pictures together and see how they have grown!

Also, we figure Ethan has maybe two more years in his until it becomes a belly shirt.

I envision Ethan holding his up to himself when it doesn't fit anymore and the kids handing down these shirts to their kids someday!


confessions of an insomniac

I've always been a troubled sleeper. I get anxious about sleep, which of course leads to insomnia.

My insomnia was at its worst during my senior year in college until about a month before my wedding. Perhaps that was my subconscious trying to tell me something? Anyway, it finally improved when I gave into taking an antidepressant. Nearly two years of 2-3 hours of sleep a night ended as I finally slept like a normal person. It was pure heaven.

I've tried to get off the meds before--I make it three weeks then crack up. I've finally learned it just isn't worth the pain and that my brain chemistry needs a little help in order to function properly. I'm only on about a quarter of what is considered a therapeutic dose but it does the trick.

However, I am also on another med that helps me quiet my mind. It isn't an actual sleeping pill, but rather an antihistamine (sort of like Benadryl but I can't take Benadryl anymore because it makes me literally start vibrating). I was put on this med when pregnant with Pibs because of course the insomnia and anxiety around sleep reared its ugly head.

I've had very few sleepless nights since beginning this cocktail of meds. Truthfully, it has been delightful! However, I have been in a mild depression for about seven years now. My life started to unravel after Pibs was born and that is when it started. Then there was the divorce, which can make any person depressed.

Lately I've been realizing that I sleep WAY too much (this didn't suddenly start, I just suddenly realized it is a problem). I am always tired. My first thought upon waking is wondering when I can take a nap. After talking this over with my doctor recently, I realized that it is more about too many meds rather than depression. She asked if I would cut out the sleeping meds and I told her just the mere thought of that made me start panicking inside.

So I decided to cut my dose in half. That was a few weeks ago. I am still sleeping great but just at night now--far less napping in my life! I have more energy, my head feels clearer and I am getting stuff done. Is it possible that I have been suffering from medication grogginess rather than depression?

Makes me wonder what is possible now! The plan is to get off the med entirely. It still freaks me out though so we'll see. Not sure I can tolerate sleepless nights as a single mama!

Isn't it crazy that the solution to my energy crisis may have been in my hands this whole time?

Thursday, July 10, 2014

healing and dealing

Sometimes I wonder if the healing will ever come. 

Sometimes I wonder if it will ever end.

Sometimes I wonder how much longer I can put up with it.

Tonight I had a breakthrough. 

Need to set my own heart right before I can let the healing flow.

Pray for me.