it's getting better

Thank you for all the calls, texts and emails. I am still kicking. It was a bad day. But it's getting better.

First off, the job came through. The terms have changed a bit but it is still a great gig and a huge step forward for my business. With it came some great learning about how to put this offer forward to other organizations in the future.

Second, I have a plan for the financial side of things. I'm not going into detail about it yet (or maybe ever) but it is going to be very painful and difficult for me. I think some pain and difficulty is exactly what I need to finally learn how to manage money.

I've been trying to get better about remembering that a feeling is just a snapshot in time, and that it isn't necessarily permanent. That is hard for a person like me who sees the world through feelings. But I'm slowly learning how to be less of a slave to my feelings and to be more of an observer.

When I am getting beat down over and over, it is very difficult to maintain any sort of coolness. My head has been spinning for the past two days and that is usually not a very good thing.

However, from all that spinning has come ideas and solutions. New ways of looking at a situation. I'm not completely out of the spin cycle yet but I'm getting there. And now I am formulating a plan.

I'm going to be okay.