what's the haps?

Does anyone else feel like summer is FLYING by? It is the second week of July and I feel like we've done barely anything. Disconcerting, to say the least.

I have a good post brewing in my mind but it isn't quite ready to be released just yet. So I shall share some random bits of life with you.

• Casual dating is a myth. It should instead be called placeholder dating. I am way into placeholder dating these days. Basically, it means you could never envision love or a future with a person but you hang out with them anyway, until something better comes along. So.....yeah. Once I realized that this is actually what I meant by "casually dating", it became clear to me that I must stop. I don't want to be someone's placeholder and I'm certain they don't want to be mine. My therapist backed all this up as well. :) Dating is finished for me. If God wants me to have a partner, He better throw him in my path because I'm done looking for him.

 

• My girl Courtney is moving into the house next door! Watch out neighborhood! I adore Courtney and her family. She is the perfect kind of friend to have close by. She is also the owner of a cooking business that uses my kitchen for classes. It will be so convenient to just have to bring things next door! And if we forget her fancy honey, she just has to run next door to grab it. Also, her kids are outside ALL THE TIME so I'm hoping it rubs off on my kids!

 

• I currently hold three jobs. I am a coach at Rachel Olson Coaching, a sous chef at Cook It With Courtney, and now a book distributor! My dad and his business partner wrote an awesome book on transformational leadership! They decided to forgo the standard publishing route and hired me to be their distributor. I have about 2,000 books stacked in my garage and ship them out whenever orders come in. However, despite all these fun jobs, I am thinking about finding some part time temp work in the fall. The recent bigger-than-expected drop in alimony and child support has stretched my budget to the max. My business is growing but I can't count on it to support me fully just yet (but I will!!!!). So for now my plan is to find some very temporary part time work. That will still give me time to work on my business. Of course, if I get another corporate gig like the one I signed last month I won't need to do it. 

 

•  As you recall from a few weeks ago, financial stresses have been weighing on my heavily. I am taking care of three people on less than what I made working before kids. I got rid of my credit card and am on a cash budget now but there is about $10 left at the end of the month. But when God provides, He provides! Last week I got notice that I will be getting a property tax refund which will help a lot. Then I was at a Mastermind meeting and found out that one of the women has a great contact at ProStaff, which will help me with that temp work I need. It was all a huge relief.

• Today I began my Grand Canyon Hike training. I've hiked the canyon 3 times but never really trained for it. I've set a goal for myself as far as training goes. If I fail to meet that goal, I can't hike. I refuse to limp along in misery again this time. If I do it, I want to do it WELL. I will still go on the trip (already bought my ticket) because it has become my fall tradition and I love sharing the trip with my dad. I think this year will be my seventh trip! If you are interested in the hike, check out these two blogs, written by people we hike with each year:

http://gcorbust.blogspot.com/
http://canyonhike.wordpress.com/gear-and-grit-notes-on-being-ready-for-a-great-day/

That's all for tonight!

it's getting better

Thank you for all the calls, texts and emails. I am still kicking. It was a bad day. But it's getting better.

First off, the job came through. The terms have changed a bit but it is still a great gig and a huge step forward for my business. With it came some great learning about how to put this offer forward to other organizations in the future.

Second, I have a plan for the financial side of things. I'm not going into detail about it yet (or maybe ever) but it is going to be very painful and difficult for me. I think some pain and difficulty is exactly what I need to finally learn how to manage money.

I've been trying to get better about remembering that a feeling is just a snapshot in time, and that it isn't necessarily permanent. That is hard for a person like me who sees the world through feelings. But I'm slowly learning how to be less of a slave to my feelings and to be more of an observer.

When I am getting beat down over and over, it is very difficult to maintain any sort of coolness. My head has been spinning for the past two days and that is usually not a very good thing.

However, from all that spinning has come ideas and solutions. New ways of looking at a situation. I'm not completely out of the spin cycle yet but I'm getting there. And now I am formulating a plan.

I'm going to be okay.

The four areas of focus

This year, I'm focusing on getting four areas of my life under control and thriving.

Spiritual health
Emotional health
Physical health
Financial health

To say that I neglect most of these areas on a regular basis is an understatement.  I'm sure many of you can totally feel me on this.  It's tough to balance home, work, family, friends, etc.  We are usually the last person that we give our time to. 

As a coach, I find it so fun and invigorating to help my clients thrive in these four areas.  But it is SO much easier to encourage another than to encourage ourselves!

Let's break the four areas down!

Spiritual health: daily devotions!  I do one called SOLO and I journal each day--it has been super fun to look back and see what I was feeling a few months ago.  I want to fill up my notebook this year!  Also, I need to make Jesus the center of my life.  My plumb line.  The truth that I can hold onto when I start freaking out.

Emotional health: I want to love me.  I want to feel fully comfortable with who I have become.  She's a pretty rad chick.  I want to continue to build and maintain HEALTHY boundaries in my life.  I want to affirm myself for keeping those boundaries, especially when my nature is telling me I am wrong to have them.  I want to go to bed each night feeling like I nailed it--no regrets.

Physical health: This is an easy one--I need to lose weight.  But instead of putting a number on it, I will put a feeling.  I want to feel comfortable in this body, in this skin.  I don't want to constantly be adjusting my shirt so it isn't clinging to my fat belly.  (Beautiful mental picture, right?)  I want to feel pretty.  I want to feel like people see me, that I'm not just some fat mom.  But I also want to get strong.  I used to be strong--I liked how that felt.  I want that back.

Financial health: This is an area I can honestly say has NEVER been under control for me.  I have never stuck to a budget (mini challenge alert!).  My ex and I were both idiots when it came to finances.  Not a good match there.  I do okay but I have zero savings and lots of stupid sh*t clogging up my house.  Pretty easy to see the correlation there!  I would like to have a nice little stockpile of cash in case of an emergency.  I would like to contribute something to my IRA.  I would like to tithe regularly to my church.  I need to find a way to budget that works for me.  My dear mother has tried many times to help me but the reality is that I need to help me--that's the only way it will work.  Please let me know if you have any advice or insight on this one!

So there are my four areas of focus this year.  I am an adaptable person so I like to leave rooms for things to shift a bit.  However, I will stay true to these four.  Four feels manageable!

One month from tomorrow is the official kick off!  I feel so proactive.  :)