michael bolton, we're gonna need you to focus up

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Alright peeps.

Time to get focused and back to the mission.

This past year has seen me make great emotional strides and not as great physical strides.

My business is growing and (dare I say?) showing signs of great fruit.

My spiritual life is on track. Just last night I got an answer from God about something I had been pondering. Chose to listen and obey (before first disobeying and suffering the consequences)--that's a good change.

My therapist bitch slapped some sense into me this summer and I made a great leap forward in my emotional healing.

My physical self is in the worst shape it has ever been.

My habits are bad. My resolve is flimsy. My focus is scattered.

So, here is the plan for this week. Just for this week. No more sweeping, grand plans. One week of focus.

This week, I will:

1. Get 50,000 steps logged on my FitBit

2. Drink at least 8 glasses of water per day (bonus love for myself if I start the day off with tea instead of soda)

3. Eat the meals I have prepared for the week

Can I do it? Stay tuned!

(12,345 bonus points for you if you can identify the source of my subject line)

what's the haps?

Does anyone else feel like summer is FLYING by? It is the second week of July and I feel like we've done barely anything. Disconcerting, to say the least.

I have a good post brewing in my mind but it isn't quite ready to be released just yet. So I shall share some random bits of life with you.

• Casual dating is a myth. It should instead be called placeholder dating. I am way into placeholder dating these days. Basically, it means you could never envision love or a future with a person but you hang out with them anyway, until something better comes along. So.....yeah. Once I realized that this is actually what I meant by "casually dating", it became clear to me that I must stop. I don't want to be someone's placeholder and I'm certain they don't want to be mine. My therapist backed all this up as well. :) Dating is finished for me. If God wants me to have a partner, He better throw him in my path because I'm done looking for him.

 

• My girl Courtney is moving into the house next door! Watch out neighborhood! I adore Courtney and her family. She is the perfect kind of friend to have close by. She is also the owner of a cooking business that uses my kitchen for classes. It will be so convenient to just have to bring things next door! And if we forget her fancy honey, she just has to run next door to grab it. Also, her kids are outside ALL THE TIME so I'm hoping it rubs off on my kids!

 

• I currently hold three jobs. I am a coach at Rachel Olson Coaching, a sous chef at Cook It With Courtney, and now a book distributor! My dad and his business partner wrote an awesome book on transformational leadership! They decided to forgo the standard publishing route and hired me to be their distributor. I have about 2,000 books stacked in my garage and ship them out whenever orders come in. However, despite all these fun jobs, I am thinking about finding some part time temp work in the fall. The recent bigger-than-expected drop in alimony and child support has stretched my budget to the max. My business is growing but I can't count on it to support me fully just yet (but I will!!!!). So for now my plan is to find some very temporary part time work. That will still give me time to work on my business. Of course, if I get another corporate gig like the one I signed last month I won't need to do it. 

 

•  As you recall from a few weeks ago, financial stresses have been weighing on my heavily. I am taking care of three people on less than what I made working before kids. I got rid of my credit card and am on a cash budget now but there is about $10 left at the end of the month. But when God provides, He provides! Last week I got notice that I will be getting a property tax refund which will help a lot. Then I was at a Mastermind meeting and found out that one of the women has a great contact at ProStaff, which will help me with that temp work I need. It was all a huge relief.

• Today I began my Grand Canyon Hike training. I've hiked the canyon 3 times but never really trained for it. I've set a goal for myself as far as training goes. If I fail to meet that goal, I can't hike. I refuse to limp along in misery again this time. If I do it, I want to do it WELL. I will still go on the trip (already bought my ticket) because it has become my fall tradition and I love sharing the trip with my dad. I think this year will be my seventh trip! If you are interested in the hike, check out these two blogs, written by people we hike with each year:

http://gcorbust.blogspot.com/
http://canyonhike.wordpress.com/gear-and-grit-notes-on-being-ready-for-a-great-day/

That's all for tonight!

the desire map

Nope, this post is not about sex. Sorry to disappoint. :)

My dear friend/consultant extraordinaire Rachel Greenhouse put The Desire Map in my path. She suggested we read it and discuss during our weekly co-working sessions.

I have been working my way through the first part of the book, which is all about creating goals with soul. Initially I thought I would use this more on my work side but it is turning out to be more about my personal life. I guess in my case my work and personal life are entwined, due to my brand being ME!

I like her approach. The book is an easy, almost stream of consciousness type of style. She hates the idea of boring, stiff goals. She prefers to call them intentions. In creating goals with soul, you connect on a deep level with what gets you really fired up and do more of that, rather than setting lofty, responsible, well thought out goals that don't excite you.

I'm finally at the part where I am ready to start mapping out my desire map. 

She focuses on 5 areas: 

• Livelihood & Lifestyle
• Body & Wellness
• Creativity & Learning
• Relationships & Society
• Essence & Spirituality

Sounds a little like my 4 areas of focus!

I tackled the first of many pages today that require me to really think about what I really want, what I truly desire.

Example: the prompt was "I crave" and what flowed from my pen was this:

peace. confidence. comfortable skin. less chin fat. a quiet mind. love. true love. a partner. feeling accomplished. strength.

Two pages full of stuff like that. There are many more to be filled!  I want to take my time though and really think. It's easy for me to think about emotional things with very little effort. I don't want to do that here. I don't want to get caught in the trap of writing the "right" things. I want intentions that sizzle and fit me perfectly. 

The only part of this book that sticks in my craw just a bit is where she says the point of all this is to feel good. I agree with that; however, I hesitate to accept that as a life mantra. Sometimes people do really selfish things that make them feel good and rock the worlds (in a bad way) of the people who are connected to them. I think there is danger in focusing solely on what makes you feel good. There needs to be some thought put into how your actions (or intentions) effect others.

So I will be working on this book for the next little bit. Taking my time writing is not the norm for me. I usually crank these posts out in under 10 minutes! Taking time to think before writing something is new for me. Maybe something amazing will come from it!

Weigh In Wednesday

I'm down 1.8 pounds!  Victory is mine!

I am happy with this.  It is progress in the right direction. 

Even though I didn't do as well as I hoped with my eating and exercise, I did enough to lose a bit. 

Each day is a new opportunity for progress! 

Tenacious Tuesday #1

Here we are!  Tenacious Tuesday, first installment.

I am not tenacious.  Tenacious is defined as tending to keep a firm hold of something; clinging or adhering closely.  I am resilient and enduring; I am not tenacious.

My daughter is tenacious.  When she wants to learn a new skill, she goes all out.  She wanted to learn how to swing so she did it without stopping until she figured it out and mastered it.  Same with learning to swim and dive.  She does not give up.  

I am not like her.  I am scared to fail so I rarely make progress towards my goals.  By not making progress, I haven't really failed, at least in my mind.  You can't fail if you never start!

Yes, I understand that is a terrible rationalization but it got me here so I guess I should be thankful?

Anyhow, this is how we got here.  A month into my year of progress with very little progress.  Tenacious Tuesday will be my way of keeping accountability to my goals.

Win: I met with a financial planner, twice now!  We put together a budget (I am now on a cash plan only).  She said my situation was not nearly as bad as I think it is.  We will meet again in a month to see how my first month of budgeting went.  

Win: Right after I went to the ATM to get my cash out for the week, I found 5 bucks in the snow!  Yay for me! 

Win: I am making homemade chicken noodle soup for my kids tonight! 

Win: I have been hard at work creating my goals for the next year for my life and business.

Fail: I logged my lowest amounts of steps this week.

Fail: I had to put my gym membership on hold due to the budget.

Fail: I still haven't cleared my driveway of all the snow.

Fail: I haven't worked out in quite some time. 

Well now, that wasn't so hard!  Feels good to have an equal number of wins and fails.

Tomorrow I will start Weigh In Wednesday.  Weight loss is a huge goal that has been holding me down for many years now.  I feel like if I could just conquer this obstacle, everything in my life will sparkle and be perfect!  So not true, but that is how it feels.  I am not one of those women who hopes to love herself once she loses weight.  I do love myself most of the time and just want my insides to match my outsides.  I do want someone to love me one day as far as a romantic partner goes and I would like to offer my best self.  

Speaking of that, I had a great idea for a coaching product: Best Life Yet.  So in order for me to coach authentically and not feel like a fraud, I need to get to MY best life yet.  As a coach I sell myself and clients will know if I am legit or not!

In the future I hope to set more mini goals for myself and then tie them to Tuesdays.  Hold me accountable!

yo, it's about that time....

KICK OFF! 

Today is the official kick off to the Year of Living Healthfully!  Thank you for joining me here!  

Last year, I decided my 35th year would be my best year ever!  It didn't quite pan out that way--it was a pretty good year but I didn't accomplish what I wanted.  It was a growing year and I wasn't ready to put the work in the way that I needed to. 

But my 36th year?  Going to rock the casbah on this one!  I am feeling better emotionally than I have in many years, which means I have the stamina to create the physical changes I have been longing for.

Goals for this year:
1. Lose weight, but in increments.  I will break this huge goal down into many small goals.
2. Create a spiritual discipline around prayer and devotion.  God has brought me through the most challenging season of my life!  
3. Get my financial house in order.
4. Grow my business!   

I will elaborate on these goals as time goes by and probably add new ones.  But for now, that's a start.

If you would like to join the closed Facebook group for the Year of Living Healthfully, click here.

Onward to my best year ever!  I'd love to hear what plans you have for your year!

I'm surviving!

Day five of the Ultimate Reset! 

Not gonna lie--the first 3 days were rough.  Rough.  But somehow I kept at it, surprising myself.  Now I am at the end of day 5.  Only 16 days left!

I haven't had any caffeine, which has been the hardest part.  Definitely an addict.  That's what was so hard those first days.

I've kept my fridge stocked with the fresh foods I'm supposed to be eating.  Definitely helps to be prepared!

I've found that I'm not really hungry--I am emotionally hungry.  I am fighting massive cravings for all the crappy food I've gotten so used to eating.  They are getting smaller though.

I've found that the food I am eating makes me feel really full.  I'm usually struggling to get the final bites of my salad in.  Eating lots of veggies really does fill you up!

And the best part?  Down 5 pounds!  Yahoo!  That's enough to keep me going!

useless perfectionism

I found out this summer that my immobility and failure to act at times is a symptom of perfectionism.  Whhhaaa?

I have always been one to hold myself back from trying new things.  Even as a kid, I didn't want to play sports because I didn't want to not be great from the get go.  I see this trait in my son--help me Rhonda.

I tended to gravitate towards activities where I wouldn't let people down if I failed--skiing, biking, camping, etc.  I hate to do something if I'm not sure I can be great.

I found out a few years ago that one of my top strengths is Maximizer.  Maximizers strive for excellence and are disappointed with anything less.  Yes, I believe that describes me!  However, instead of pushing myself to bigger and better things, I hold myself back because I don't believe I can achieve excellence.  Clearly not using this strength as well as I could.

This useless perfectionism needs to go.  I've let go of a lot of bad habits and patterns of behavior over the last few years as a result of my divorce.  Every day I am thankful that I was given a second chance to create a life that matters.  I think I am rising to the pursuit of excellence in a number of key areas--but the one glaring hole is my health. 

How do I break the cycle of inaction and finally get to where I want to be?  This blog definitely helps.  I think the next big thing to tackle is food.  I don't remember how to eat right.  Even when I was eating right back in my skinny days (before sweet Olivia got here), I was mainly eating fake food but just less food in general so I lost weight.  Now I feel this need to be healthy and not eat crap but I don't really know how to do it so I am stuck in crappy eating and self loathing.

Any suggestions?

head space for sale

I got a bike ride in today and took care of some annoying tasks that have been hanging over my head.  I had pizza twice but still managed to stay within my calories for the day.  I am hungry now and would kill for a glass of wine but water with a lime will have to do!

I've had several people ask me what my plan is.  My answer is that I have no clue.  But I am okay with that.  I have boldly embarked on millions of plans, only to fail completely by the 2 week marker.

This time is different.  This time I am focusing on my motivator rather than my plan.  The best plan is worthless without a motivator. 

It's relatively easy to find a motivator--I want to weigh X number of pounds, I want to fit into a certain size of clothing, I want to be attractive to the opposite sex, etc, etc.  I thought a noble one was that I wanted to get "healthy" for my kids.  What that really means is that I don't want to be a fat mom that gets them teased.

But this time I have the best, most amazeballs reason ever.  Ready for it?

I need to free up the real estate in my head.

This has never crossed my mind before.  But as I have pondered this year of living healthfully, I have realized that I spend an ENORMOUS amount of time thinking about my weight, my size and my failures to lose weight.  I also spend a lot of time dreaming up ways to cheat it, how to dress myself nicer so I look slimmer, how to exercise (but never doing much), how to eat (but choosing to overeat instead).  Fricking waste of time.

I need this real estate.  I have lost brain cells due to motherhood and I really can't afford to lose any more.  I need this space in my head. 

I need space to heal and grow as a single woman and single mom.  I need space to store up energy and motivation to parent when I am completely spent.  I need space to brainstorm ideas for my business, space to be creative. 

I am evicting my weight from my head.  I will no longer spend time and energy thinking about it.  As I've moved through my healing process from the divorce, I learned to take my thoughts captive and make them obedient to God.  When I feel myself slipping into a place of unforgiveness, I have phrases that I say to myself and to God to get back on track.

I believe this strategy will work here. 

This issue is no longer up for debate.  This issue has been evicted.  Focus on living healthfully.