One day in

Stats for Monday:

Steps: 9,267
Water: Guzzled it
Food: Not great. Ate out twice--lunch at Jimmy John's (was at a client, it is within walking distance); dinner at Don Pablo's (my fav place to eat alone, Mondays are usually my only evening "off" from the kids so I took advantage)

Overall, did well.

Tried refrigerator oatmeal. Supposed to be eaten cold. Nope. Going to try and warm it up a little. 

Finally gathered all the supplies to make the following:

frozen chicken burritos
soup in a jar
green salad with chicken and chili lime vingegarette

Plan is to put this stuff together tomorrow and get my kitchen in order.

Now it is MEA which means kids, outdoor fun and no structure! Can I survive? Stay tuned.... :)

michael bolton, we're gonna need you to focus up

via

Alright peeps.

Time to get focused and back to the mission.

This past year has seen me make great emotional strides and not as great physical strides.

My business is growing and (dare I say?) showing signs of great fruit.

My spiritual life is on track. Just last night I got an answer from God about something I had been pondering. Chose to listen and obey (before first disobeying and suffering the consequences)--that's a good change.

My therapist bitch slapped some sense into me this summer and I made a great leap forward in my emotional healing.

My physical self is in the worst shape it has ever been.

My habits are bad. My resolve is flimsy. My focus is scattered.

So, here is the plan for this week. Just for this week. No more sweeping, grand plans. One week of focus.

This week, I will:

1. Get 50,000 steps logged on my FitBit

2. Drink at least 8 glasses of water per day (bonus love for myself if I start the day off with tea instead of soda)

3. Eat the meals I have prepared for the week

Can I do it? Stay tuned!

(12,345 bonus points for you if you can identify the source of my subject line)

Weigh In Wednesday!

Greetings friends!

I have been absent, my apologies.  I traveled to Green Bay last week for a coaching gig and am just now getting back in the swing of things.

Nothing new to report for Weigh In Wednesday.  Travel, too much good food, too much sitting on my butt.  None of which makes for a good weigh in!

Back in the saddle today.  In fact, today I am starting an experiment.  I got up at 6:45 and was showered and dressed way before the kids got up.  I'm trying to see if getting ready for the day early will translate into greater productivity for me.  So far so good!

Weigh In Wednesday

I'm down 1.8 pounds!  Victory is mine!

I am happy with this.  It is progress in the right direction. 

Even though I didn't do as well as I hoped with my eating and exercise, I did enough to lose a bit. 

Each day is a new opportunity for progress! 

2014 has been the best year ever!!!!!!

Well, so far at least!

I have a plan.  My much awaited, much dreamed about plan.  It all materialized the other day.

Ready?

1. A daily walk of 30 minutes.  5 minutes to warm up, 5 minutes to cool down, 20 minutes of active walking.  I am tracking my distance for those 30 minutes.  At the end of January, I hope to have doubled the distance I did on the first day in the same amount of time.  This is where the magic happens:

Motivation to last me all year!

2. I start each morning with a fruit and veggie smoothie.  I got a Nutribullet for Christmas and it just might be the best gift ever!  I fill it up with two cups of spinach, one cup of fruit, some flax seed, hemp seed and almonds.  Sometimes a little vanilla protein powder.  Delicious!

3. For either lunch or dinner, I have a raw meal shake--it isn't the tastiest thing around but it's edible.

4. Have a reasonable lunch or dinner.

5. Track calories via the LoseIt app.

6. Track steps using my FitBit.  Aim for 10k per day.

It's been two days.  I feel great.  I am focusing on these 6 things.  I am fighting every urge I have to do it perfect.  I am trying to be reasonable and persistent and forget about the perfection.

Also, I forgot to post my weigh in yesterday.  Decided to start over--what was I thinking, trying to start losing weight before Christmas?  So stay tuned for next week--it will hopefully be evidence of all my hard work!

Tenacious Tuesday #1

Here we are!  Tenacious Tuesday, first installment.

I am not tenacious.  Tenacious is defined as tending to keep a firm hold of something; clinging or adhering closely.  I am resilient and enduring; I am not tenacious.

My daughter is tenacious.  When she wants to learn a new skill, she goes all out.  She wanted to learn how to swing so she did it without stopping until she figured it out and mastered it.  Same with learning to swim and dive.  She does not give up.  

I am not like her.  I am scared to fail so I rarely make progress towards my goals.  By not making progress, I haven't really failed, at least in my mind.  You can't fail if you never start!

Yes, I understand that is a terrible rationalization but it got me here so I guess I should be thankful?

Anyhow, this is how we got here.  A month into my year of progress with very little progress.  Tenacious Tuesday will be my way of keeping accountability to my goals.

Win: I met with a financial planner, twice now!  We put together a budget (I am now on a cash plan only).  She said my situation was not nearly as bad as I think it is.  We will meet again in a month to see how my first month of budgeting went.  

Win: Right after I went to the ATM to get my cash out for the week, I found 5 bucks in the snow!  Yay for me! 

Win: I am making homemade chicken noodle soup for my kids tonight! 

Win: I have been hard at work creating my goals for the next year for my life and business.

Fail: I logged my lowest amounts of steps this week.

Fail: I had to put my gym membership on hold due to the budget.

Fail: I still haven't cleared my driveway of all the snow.

Fail: I haven't worked out in quite some time. 

Well now, that wasn't so hard!  Feels good to have an equal number of wins and fails.

Tomorrow I will start Weigh In Wednesday.  Weight loss is a huge goal that has been holding me down for many years now.  I feel like if I could just conquer this obstacle, everything in my life will sparkle and be perfect!  So not true, but that is how it feels.  I am not one of those women who hopes to love herself once she loses weight.  I do love myself most of the time and just want my insides to match my outsides.  I do want someone to love me one day as far as a romantic partner goes and I would like to offer my best self.  

Speaking of that, I had a great idea for a coaching product: Best Life Yet.  So in order for me to coach authentically and not feel like a fraud, I need to get to MY best life yet.  As a coach I sell myself and clients will know if I am legit or not!

In the future I hope to set more mini goals for myself and then tie them to Tuesdays.  Hold me accountable!

Why I am not dating for the next year

As I've been mulling over what it means to be healthy, I realized that for me, in this season of my life, being single is being healthy.

I've spent my whole life trying to be something that someone wanted.  I thought that "love" and attention would somehow validate me, make me realize that I am worth it.  It hasn't worked.

Since my divorce, I have had a love/hate relationship with my singleness.  When I was first divorced, I was on a near frantic quest to find someone.  I didn't really want all the relationship stuff--I just wanted to feel wanted.  As if knowing that someone wanted to be with me would be enough to make me believe I was enough.  Didn't work.

A recent strange little attempt at a relationship ended.  Instead of feeling sad, I felt relieved.  I don't really want to deal with a relationship at this point.  I was pissed though, that this little failure made me feel lonely again.  I had done a good job for many months, letting the loneliness come and go without killing me.  It had just become a thing in my life, instead of crushing thing that I obsessed over.  This person had me believing it could be something special and in the end, it was the same old crap.  So I was pissed at myself for falling for it.

So where does that leave me?  Alone.  Single.  I am okay with that.  In fact, I think I NEED this.  So I am committing to no dating for at least one year.  I don't need it.  It stresses me out and puts my head in a place that I don't like.

No online dating.  No seeking guys out.  If Mr. Wonderful happens to wander into my life organically, I will build a friendship with him and nothing more until my year is up.  

This isn't a fear based decision.  It is a FREEDOM based decision!  And coming from a recovering codependent, that is powerful.  

I am too awesome to waste myself on people that don't appreciate it.  :)

yo, it's about that time....

KICK OFF! 

Today is the official kick off to the Year of Living Healthfully!  Thank you for joining me here!  

Last year, I decided my 35th year would be my best year ever!  It didn't quite pan out that way--it was a pretty good year but I didn't accomplish what I wanted.  It was a growing year and I wasn't ready to put the work in the way that I needed to. 

But my 36th year?  Going to rock the casbah on this one!  I am feeling better emotionally than I have in many years, which means I have the stamina to create the physical changes I have been longing for.

Goals for this year:
1. Lose weight, but in increments.  I will break this huge goal down into many small goals.
2. Create a spiritual discipline around prayer and devotion.  God has brought me through the most challenging season of my life!  
3. Get my financial house in order.
4. Grow my business!   

I will elaborate on these goals as time goes by and probably add new ones.  But for now, that's a start.

If you would like to join the closed Facebook group for the Year of Living Healthfully, click here.

Onward to my best year ever!  I'd love to hear what plans you have for your year!

Disturbing realization

I've been feeling a bit out of sorts since I started this cleanse.  Sure, I have felt tired and had low energy and been emotionally hungry.  But today I noticed that I seem a little down, more so than I would expect.

Something that JT (my brother-in-law) said to me the other day resonated today.  He learned in AA that if you take away the thing that makes you happy (for him, alcohol, for me, food) and don't figure out how to get happy without it, you will be a miserable human being.

I do not want to be a miserable human being.  But I am realizing that food, soda and alcohol have brought me much happiness and comfort over the past eight years.  It kept me company when my husband ignored me; it made me happy when my children made me crazy.  It is embarassing to say those things.  But it has been my companion for many years--my unhealthy, abusive companion but my companion nonetheless.

I miss the fleeting joy I would get from drinking a diet coke.  I miss the happiness I would feel when eating something that I knew was bad for me but just didn't care.

I am not giving up on this year of living healthfully!  Don't worry about that.  But I do think it is smart to identify my emotions and understand them--that much I have learned over the last few years.  I am, at my core, a positive, upbeat and enthusiastic person.  That will not change!  But right now I am noticing that I relied on things to bring me happiness which is exactly what I tell my kids not to do!  Happiness and joy come from the inside. 

Food should never have the power to control my happiness and joy!

Noticing some changes....

I seem to have a little more energy.  Could this be the start of something new? 

I have been plagued with horrible headaches, some of the worst I've ever had.  Today has been headache free so far, which is a blessing! 

I started reading a book called 21 Days to a More Disciplined Life.  I've always wanted to be more structured and more organized but haven't been able to pull it off. 

Once I finish this 21 day cleanse, I am embarking on a life cleanse!  More to come on this later.

I'm surviving!

Day five of the Ultimate Reset! 

Not gonna lie--the first 3 days were rough.  Rough.  But somehow I kept at it, surprising myself.  Now I am at the end of day 5.  Only 16 days left!

I haven't had any caffeine, which has been the hardest part.  Definitely an addict.  That's what was so hard those first days.

I've kept my fridge stocked with the fresh foods I'm supposed to be eating.  Definitely helps to be prepared!

I've found that I'm not really hungry--I am emotionally hungry.  I am fighting massive cravings for all the crappy food I've gotten so used to eating.  They are getting smaller though.

I've found that the food I am eating makes me feel really full.  I'm usually struggling to get the final bites of my salad in.  Eating lots of veggies really does fill you up!

And the best part?  Down 5 pounds!  Yahoo!  That's enough to keep me going!

off to dazzle the crowd

In 3 hours I will be at General Mills doing a presentation on balancing technology in our families.  My head hurts a little but I'm going to try to stay off the caffeine.  Hopefully the natural high I get from being in a big group of people will be enough to keep my sparkle going!

I got on the scale this morning just for fun--down 3 pounds!  If I could knock out 10 pounds on this program, I would be very happy.  That would feel like a great head start for me.

The start of something....amazing?

Today I started a 21 day cleanse/detox program.  Normally I don't go for stuff like this but decided to give it a try for several reasons.  First, you don't eat fake food and shakes--you eat real food that you cook and prepare yourself.  Second, many of the reviews I read said it taught them how to shop and cook whole, clean foods.  I need help with that.  Third, I am quite certain that if I don't shake things up now, I will end up in this exact same place next year, looking at my 37th (!!!) birthday looming and wondering what happened to my good intentions.

For breakfast, I had a big bowl of oatmeal.  I was supposed to have yogurt and blueberries with it but had not hit the grocery store yet so I just stuck with the oatmeal.  Not hungry, even 4 hours later.

Have not had soda or tea.  Just drinking water.  No headache.

I am cooking a batch of chicken right now because I need some for my salad at lunch.  I plan to eat mostly the same meals each day for this first week.  Too much flexibility makes me have a hard time.

I hit the grocery store and spent $95 on food.  That kind of hurts but I'm guessing that if I really examine my credit card bill (which I don't because I am feeling stressed about money right now) I would find that I probably spend twice that each week on eating out!

Send encouraging thoughts my way please!

18 days!

My birthday is fast approaching on November 18th!  The official kickoff for the year of living healthfully. 

I've decided to try an outrageous eating plan for 21 days--I will be starting it before the official kickoff so I can be done by Thanksgiving.  :)  Nothing crazy about it, unless you could eating whole foods and nothing processed for 21 days crazy.  I kinda do!

I will talk more about it when it begins. 

No kids this weekend so I am going to spend some time making my goals more specific.  Need to make a plan.  Or as much of a plan as this adaptable girl can make.  :)

head space for sale

I got a bike ride in today and took care of some annoying tasks that have been hanging over my head.  I had pizza twice but still managed to stay within my calories for the day.  I am hungry now and would kill for a glass of wine but water with a lime will have to do!

I've had several people ask me what my plan is.  My answer is that I have no clue.  But I am okay with that.  I have boldly embarked on millions of plans, only to fail completely by the 2 week marker.

This time is different.  This time I am focusing on my motivator rather than my plan.  The best plan is worthless without a motivator. 

It's relatively easy to find a motivator--I want to weigh X number of pounds, I want to fit into a certain size of clothing, I want to be attractive to the opposite sex, etc, etc.  I thought a noble one was that I wanted to get "healthy" for my kids.  What that really means is that I don't want to be a fat mom that gets them teased.

But this time I have the best, most amazeballs reason ever.  Ready for it?

I need to free up the real estate in my head.

This has never crossed my mind before.  But as I have pondered this year of living healthfully, I have realized that I spend an ENORMOUS amount of time thinking about my weight, my size and my failures to lose weight.  I also spend a lot of time dreaming up ways to cheat it, how to dress myself nicer so I look slimmer, how to exercise (but never doing much), how to eat (but choosing to overeat instead).  Fricking waste of time.

I need this real estate.  I have lost brain cells due to motherhood and I really can't afford to lose any more.  I need this space in my head. 

I need space to heal and grow as a single woman and single mom.  I need space to store up energy and motivation to parent when I am completely spent.  I need space to brainstorm ideas for my business, space to be creative. 

I am evicting my weight from my head.  I will no longer spend time and energy thinking about it.  As I've moved through my healing process from the divorce, I learned to take my thoughts captive and make them obedient to God.  When I feel myself slipping into a place of unforgiveness, I have phrases that I say to myself and to God to get back on track.

I believe this strategy will work here. 

This issue is no longer up for debate.  This issue has been evicted.  Focus on living healthfully.