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Wednesday, November 27, 2013

you attract what you put out there

If it is true that you attract what you put out there, I need to seriously look at what I am putting out there!

Since I have been single, I have been on many dates.  Only a handful of them interested me enough for second dates.  None of them turned into a viable relationship.

One theme I have noticed is that I tend to attract emotionally unavailable men.  They seem normal enough but eventually the unavailability becomes clear and they disappear.

I learned while doing my coaching certification is that my top values are humor, playfulness, connection, emotional intimacy and positivity.  I need to be able to honor those values in my daily life, as a mom, with my family of origin as well as in a romantic relationship.

I'm doing pretty good at honoring them now in my life.  I wasn't when I was married, that became clear quite easily once I realized what my values actually were (sad that I didn't know until I was 35!).

I have not been able to honor these in a romantic relationship yet.  No one has been the right person.  I tend to attract very serious, emotionally unavailable men who have a hard time having fun.  They are attracted to me because I am fun and I have a great sense of humor.  I need to stop attracting these types of men! I tell ya, it's like bees to honey.  Yuck.

I am excited at the possibilities this year of determined singleness will bring!  I finally have given myself permission to give up for a year.  It is such a HUGE relief that I really can't express it in words.

My hope is that as I continue to figure out myself and my needs as a 36 year old single mom, I will begin to attract the right kind of man.  A man who loves the Lord.  A man who is wickedly funny and cracks me up.  A man who is up for adventure.  A man who likes to camp and take road trips.  A man that sees my kiddos as blessings.  A man who wants to spend time with me like it is going out of style.  A man who desires an emotional connection.  He's out there.  I just need to work on myself before I can find him.

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