Wednesday, November 27, 2013
you attract what you put out there
If it is true that you attract what you put out there, I need to seriously look at what I am putting out there!
Since I have been single, I have been on many dates. Only a handful of them interested me enough for second dates. None of them turned into a viable relationship.
One theme I have noticed is that I tend to attract emotionally unavailable men. They seem normal enough but eventually the unavailability becomes clear and they disappear.
I learned while doing my coaching certification is that my top values are humor, playfulness, connection, emotional intimacy and positivity. I need to be able to honor those values in my daily life, as a mom, with my family of origin as well as in a romantic relationship.
I'm doing pretty good at honoring them now in my life. I wasn't when I was married, that became clear quite easily once I realized what my values actually were (sad that I didn't know until I was 35!).
I have not been able to honor these in a romantic relationship yet. No one has been the right person. I tend to attract very serious, emotionally unavailable men who have a hard time having fun. They are attracted to me because I am fun and I have a great sense of humor. I need to stop attracting these types of men! I tell ya, it's like bees to honey. Yuck.
I am excited at the possibilities this year of determined singleness will bring! I finally have given myself permission to give up for a year. It is such a HUGE relief that I really can't express it in words.
My hope is that as I continue to figure out myself and my needs as a 36 year old single mom, I will begin to attract the right kind of man. A man who loves the Lord. A man who is wickedly funny and cracks me up. A man who is up for adventure. A man who likes to camp and take road trips. A man that sees my kiddos as blessings. A man who wants to spend time with me like it is going out of style. A man who desires an emotional connection. He's out there. I just need to work on myself before I can find him.