I seemed to have sparked something with my little Facebook post. Apparently there are quite a few people out there just like me--completely fed up but somehow not making any progress.
I'm a pretty open person--I don't really care if people think I am cool or not. I want people to like me, sure, because I have Woo in my Top 5 and enjoy making connections. But I have no problem putting my grossness out there. Not entirely sure why. When I was younger a move like this would have mortified me. Perhaps this is a result of being closer than ever to 40?
If you have decided to walk alongside me for this year of living healthfully, welcome! So glad you made it. I am not going to pretend I have a grand plan or any answers at all. All I know is that I have tried and failed a hundred times and I don't want to do it any more.
I don't see this year as the year of a diet. I really don't. Obviously eating will be a big part of weight loss. But I have learned that I don't do well with "you can't have this" diets. Does anyone? I need flexibility and I need something that is sustainable in the long run. I don't want to live in constant fear that if I stop eating according to a diet plan that I will plump up again.
Today I started my morning off with a multivitamin. Small step to be sure, but one that I needed to take. I neglect my body quite often. Taking care of two kids as a single mom tends to be quite a bit of work at times (which I wouldn't trade for anything!). When I do have downtime I am usually comatose on the couch. I don't take very good care of me. It's almost like when I have time to do something healthy for myself, I fear taking action as though expending too much energy on life will be the thing that sends this whole thing into chaos. I think this is a remnant of living in a constant state of stress when I was married. I am actually a hard worker with a huge capacity to get stuff done. But for a long time I was in survival mode and there really wasn't much energy left at the end of the day. I get to change that now.
So today I swallowed a pill that will help fill in the gaps in my nutrition. And now I am going to have a cup of tea!