now what?

I seemed to have sparked something with my little Facebook post.  Apparently there are quite a few people out there just like me--completely fed up but somehow not making any progress.

I'm a pretty open person--I don't really care if people think I am cool or not.  I want people to like me, sure, because I have Woo in my Top 5 and enjoy making connections.  But I have no problem putting my grossness out there.  Not entirely sure why.  When I was younger a move like this would have mortified me.  Perhaps this is a result of being closer than ever to 40?

If you have decided to walk alongside me for this year of living healthfully, welcome!  So glad you made it.  I am not going to pretend I have a grand plan or any answers at all.  All I know is that I have tried and failed a hundred times and I don't want to do it any more.

I don't see this year as the year of a diet.  I really don't.  Obviously eating will be a big part of weight loss.  But I have learned that I don't do well with "you can't have this" diets.  Does anyone?  I need flexibility and I need something that is sustainable in the long run.  I don't want to live in constant fear that if I stop eating according to a diet plan that I will plump up again.

Today I started my morning off with a multivitamin.  Small step to be sure, but one that I needed to take.  I neglect my body quite often.  Taking care of two kids as a single mom tends to be quite a bit of work at times (which I wouldn't trade for anything!).  When I do have downtime I am usually comatose on the couch.  I don't take very good care of me.  It's almost like when I have time to do something healthy for myself, I fear taking action as though expending too much energy on life will be the thing that sends this whole thing into chaos.  I think this is a remnant of living in a constant state of stress when I was married.  I am actually a hard worker with a huge capacity to get stuff done.  But for a long time I was in survival mode and there really wasn't much energy left at the end of the day.  I get to change that now.

So today I swallowed a pill that will help fill in the gaps in my nutrition.  And now I am going to have a cup of tea!